fatal love

chapter 164

4TH FEBRUARY 1980

Voldemort himself. Dorcas had died at his hands. Sirius heard the story in bits and pieces in the weeks after it had happened. Apparently, Frank, Benjy and Edgar had planned a break-in of Malfoy Manor that only Moody and Dumbledore knew about. But something had gone wrong, and they'd been caught, and only Edgar had managed to escape, cursed. He'd fled to the hospital, and when he got there, Dorcas had decided to go and try to get the others out. She'd succeeded, but it had cost her her life.

Marlene was refusing to talk about it. She had thrown herself into the Order instead, and started volunteering for missions left, right and centre. Whenever Sirius spoke to her, she insisted she was fine.

"Not gonna sit about and cry all day," she'd said to him bluntly. "I'm going to go and get some bloody payback."

Sirius hadn't had anything to say to that.

The death of such a crucial member of the Order was a blow to everyone, though. Ted was now massively overworked, trying to keep the hospital running practically by himself. Remus had volunteered to go in and help, but Moody had said no, not giving any reason. Instead, Lily started studying healing, as a way she could help without having to go into the field while pregnant.

About a month after Dorcas died, Sirius said fuck it and bought himself a motorbike. He'd got Benjy to go down to a garage with him and haggle with the muggle man there, though he had no idea if the price he paid in the end was a bargain or a rip-off.

"She's a beauty," Benjy said appreciatively, as Sirius ran his hand over the smooth metal.

"Isn't she?" he agreed. "I'm gonna fix her up real nice as well, get her doing all sorts of cool shit."

Benjy grinned. "Oh, really? Like what?"

"I'll make her fly. Make her squeeze through tight spaces like the Knight Bus. Maybe an invisibility feature, see if I can make it as good as Potter's Cloak."

"Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you."

"Well, I need a hobby," Sirius said.

"...You spoken to McKinnon lately?"

Sirius stiffened. "Briefly," he said, keeping his eyes fixed on the bike. "She hasn't really been in the mood to chat."

"Well, I was thinking we should check up on her," Benjy said. "Most of the Order think she and Dorcas were just friends, they don't know what she's going through."

"I'm trying, alright!" Sirius snapped.

Benjy stared at him, narrowing his eyes.

"Ugh, sorry," Sirius groaned. "Not your fault. Just... lots happening at the moment. Gotta be happy around Prongs and Evans, sad around Marls, walking on eggshells whenever I'm with Moony... But I know, okay? I'll speak to her."

"You're doing a lot," Benjy said sympathetically, "don't put too much on yourself."

Sirius snorted darkly. "I'm fine."

"What's up with Lupin?" Benjy pressed. "Are things still..."

"We're good, mostly," Sirius sighed, "I'm just getting real fucking tired of his... missions."

"Why?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

Remus had only gotten back from the February moon a couple of days ago, as bruised and battered and torn up as he always was. But the night before had been even worse. Sirius hadn't been able to sit still, had picked the skin around his fingers until they were red and raw, and kept telling himself that what happened to Dorcas wouldn't happen to Remus. But the possibility seemed so much more real now.