fatal love

chapter 132

Sirius woke up the next morning still feeling tense and uneasy, unable to shake off the grittiness of last night's events. It made him feel dirty - knowing that that side wanted him, wanted the Heir, and the grim reminder that no matter what he did, or what he said, that was always who he would be known as. Remus was lying next to him, and he was obviously already awake, but lying still and staring up at the ceiling.

"Alright?" Sirius asked tiredly.

"Hm. People are coming back today."

"I know. Gonna be weird, I got used to having the castle to ourselves."

"Yeah."

Sirius sighed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Really, I want to pretend it never happened."

"Okay then," Sirius nodded in satisfaction, "then that's what we'll do. I don't really fancy reliving it all either."

Remus turned to look at him and gave him a weary smile. "Thanks."

"No problem. Our only issues at the moment are NEWTs and whatever girl Pete is moaning about, so that's all I want us to be thinking about."

Remus smirked at him. "It's that simple?"

"I mastered the art of denial long ago, Moony," Sirius boasted, "if I say those are my only issues, then those are my only issues."

"Let's give it a go. Wanna go and get breakfast before everyone else gets back?"

"Sure."

They both got out of bed and traipsed down to the Great Hall. Evans and James were already at the Gryffindor table, talking to each other quietly, but stopped their conversation as Sirius and Remus approached.

"Did Evans get you up, mate?" Sirius smirked at James.

James grinned at him. "Tell you what, I'll never understand how you two can just get up early every single day. I mean seriously, it's a Sunday, what's the point?"

"What's the point in wasting the day, Potter?" Lily said dryly, rolling her eyes.

James' expression turned more serious. "How are you two?" he asked quietly.

Sirius shrugged, as Remus picked at his food. "Been better. But it hasn't really changed anything, has it? Just made it real."

"Remus?" Lily pressed.

"What Sirius said. Don't really see the point in talking about it."

Lily frowned, but let it go. "Well, it'll be nice to see Mary and Marlene again," she said with forced optimism. "That should cheer everyone up."

Silence fell, and Sirius chewed on his toast grimly. His spine felt prickly, not unlike the aftershocks he used to get after a Crucio. This wasn't because of anything physical this time though; no, this was purely because of fear. The knowledge that Voldemort had singled him out - him, and James, and Lily, before they even joined the Order. He didn't really know why it was them three. Okay, so Voldemort had kind of given his reasons, but they didn't make much sense to Sirius. He didn't know why Voldemort was interested in a group of Hogwarts students.

They finished eating quietly, and rose as a group to head back to the Common Room. As they were coming back through the portrait, they bumped into Pete, who was holding the map.

"Alright, mate?" James smiled. "How're you doing?"

Pete stared at him for a moment. "Fine, I guess," he said eventually. "Would've been nice if someone could've woken me up, instead of you all eating without me."