fatal love

Chapter 13

Sirius felt guilty over the next few days, for going after his little brother like that. He'd wanted Regulus to shut up, and he never wanted to hear his little brother say awful things like he had, but he wanted Reg to listen to him because Sirius was his older brother, not because Sirius was the Heir.

He didn't know what the right decision would have been though. Was he supposed to let his brother insult his friends, or was he supposed to stop his using the Black power plays? He didn't mind using his position as Heir against most people, but he didn't want Reg to see him as the Heir, he wanted him to see him as his brother.

But that would have meant abandoning Remus, choosing his family over him. Both options felt wrong somehow, like no matter what he did, he was going to disappoint someone, hurt someone.

Regulus was avoiding him in the corridors now, turning around whenever he spotted Sirius. Sirius wasn't even sure what he'd say if he could get Reg to talk to him.

That week was the week of the October full moon, which happened to fall on a Sunday. Sirius spent his weekend in the dorm with Remus, until Sunday evening, when he said goodbye and went to go see Pomfrey.

Before leaving, Remus went to go get changed out of his pyjamas in the bathroom.

"You know you don't need to leave, right?" Sirius said. "None of us will care if you have some scars."

Remus shrugged uncomfortably. "I'd just rather no one saw, to be honest."

"Okay, Re," he whispered, "whatever you want."

On Monday morning, Sirius was sitting in Charms with James and Peter, but he couldn't stop thinking about Remus in the Hospital Wing. How did he feel, right after a transformation? Not good, probably.

"We should go see Remus, at lunch," he whispered to James.

"I'd like to, mate, but you know what Pomfrey's like," James whispered back.

"Well, that was before we knew, we might have better luck now." James looked at him doubtfully. "It won't hurt to try," he added.

"Fine, we'll see him at lunch. But if it turns out they were serving fish fingers, and I don't get any, I'm holding you responsible!"

"Somehow, I'll manage to live with myself."

So that lunchtime, the three of them made their way to the Hospital Wing. They knocked on the door politely, and smiled brightly at Madam Pomfrey when she opened it. She frowned down at them.

"We've come to visit Remus!" Peter chimed happily.

"I'm sorry, but I've told you all before, I can't-"

"It's okay, Poppy," Remus called from somewhere in the room. "They know."

"They know ?"

"We do!" Sirius grinned at her. "And he's still our friend. In fact, it's because he's our friend that we'd really like to see him when he's in the Hospital Wing."

"Fine," Madam Pomfrey sighed. "But don't make a ruckus! And I'm sure I don't have to tell you three how important it is that this stays a secret ."

"Yes, yes, we know," James said as they filed in, "Remus already gave us the lecture after I figured it out."

"You did not figure it out!" exclaimed Sirius. "I did! You thought he had some weird Argentinian lung disease!"

"Well I was close!"

"No, you weren't James," Remus' voice chuckled from one of the beds. Sirius whipped back the curtain to reveal Remus, half-sitting and half-lying on the hospital bed, in one of those weird hospital gowns. He was a sickly white, with dark bags under his eyes, and bandages wrapped around one of his arms. James' birthday present was on the bedside table, along with a book and a couple of vials of potions that Sirius didn't recognise. "Hey, guys," Remus said.