fatal love

chapter 101

Sirius sat on the Hogwarts Express with James. They'd left early again, to avoid running into Walburga, and had been the first ones there, so now they were just waiting for everyone else to arrive.

James kept shooting Sirius concerned looks, but Sirius had almost bitten his head off the last time he asked if he was okay. Sirius was just waiting to see Remus again, and to hear Remus tell him, once again, that they weren't what he wanted. He should have fucking known.

Evans was the first person to join them. James jumped up when she entered the carriage, and her face flushed as she hugged him. Sirius glared at them both. How the fuck had Prongs managed to win Evans over, and Remus was still being so cold with Sirius? It felt like the universe was playing some cruel joke on him.

"What's up with you, Black?" Evans asked, noticing his dirty looks.

"He's pissed off about something," James said, sighing. "Won't tell me what it is."

"Well, spit it out," Evans said, forthright.

"You heard from Remus recently?" Sirius grunted.

Evans frowned. "No, not since before Christmas actually."

Sirius snorted - at least it wasn't just him, then, who Moony had been neglecting.

Pete joined them a few minutes later, but it was only seconds before the train left the station that Remus arrived.

"Hey guys," he said quickly, "sorry, I've gotta dash - Prefects' meeting. You coming, Lils?" He didn't look at Sirius.

"Sure, let's go," Lily said, and they both left.

Remus didn't say a word to Sirius.

Lily came back to the compartment half an hour later, but Remus wasn't with her. She said he'd been given patrol duty, but Sirius wasn't sure he believed her. He didn't see Remus again until they were all getting onto the carriages to be taken to the castle, but he started a conversation with Pete before Sirius had got the opportunity to say anything to him.

They had to sit through the whole feast, and everyone else was painfully oblivious to the tension between them - apart from Lily, perhaps. Sirius was never sure how much exactly Remus told her. Even James gave up trying to get Sirius into a better mood, when Evans said to let him sulk. Remus acted upsettingly normal, talking with Marlene and Mary about the Sex Pistols. Sirius had wanted to talk to them about the Sex Pistols too, but he didn't feel like it anymore.

Remus caught his eye a couple of times, but Sirius could only death-stare at him, and he would look away quickly. It wasn't until everyone had finished eating, and they were walking up to Gryffindor Tower, that Remus deigned to speak to him.

"Can we talk?" he whispered as they reached the Common Room.

Sirius looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Now you want to talk," he muttered. "It's always whatever you want, whenever you want, isn't it?"

"Pads, please." Remus actually looked desperate, which was surprising. "I need to talk to someone, and I don't wanna tell anyone else about this."

Sirius bit his lip. He shouldn't give in, but he was weak to Remus, he always had been. "Fine," he said shortly, "come on." He left everyone else on the sofas by the fireplace, going straight up to the dorm, Remus beside him.

"Okay," Remus said, as the door shut behind them both, "before you say anything, I know you're angry-"

Sirius interrupted him with cold laughter. "Do you think you're fucking funny, Lupin?" he asked. "I mean, really what's your problem?"