fatal love

Chapter 33

On the 5th of January, Sirius and James were dropped at Platform 9 ¾ by Euphemia, ready to go back to Hogwarts. Boarding the train, they found Remus and Peter already in the carriage, and for the first time ever, Sirius actually had someone to wave goodbye to when they left the station.

The journey back was happy and uneventful, as the four of them traded stories of their holidays.

"How was Christmas, Moony?" James asked.

Remus shrugged. "Alright. The muggle world's in a recession, though. They've started a bloody three day week. We're alright, my dad's still got his job at the Ministry, but a lot of the village had a pretty shit Christmas."

Sirius frowned. He didn't understand a lot of what Remus meant when he talked about the muggle world, but none of that sounded very good.

Once they arrived at school, they all went straight up to Gryffindor Tower, settling in their usual spot in the Common Room. Sirius was just considering starting his Potions essay, which was due on Monday, when Marlene walked over.

"Hey," he smiled, pulling her towards him so he could give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, can we talk?" she asked, twisting her hands together nervously.

"Sure," Sirius nodded, "dorm?"

"Okay," Marlene said, and she followed him up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

"What's up?" Sirius asked, flopping onto his bed, gesturing her to join him.

Marlene knelt at the foot of his bed, and stared up at him anxiously. It put Sirius off; Marlene was not a nervous person by nature, and he wasn't sure where this conversation was going.

"Do you like me?" she questioned him, abruptly and no beating round the bush.

"Of course I do," said Sirius, surprised.

"Do you... do you like kissing me?" Her face was bright red with embarrassment, but she didn't drop eye contact, watching him determinedly.

Sirius paused - he definitely hadn't been expecting that question. "Well, uh, yeah," he said awkwardly, confused, "it's nice."

"Right," Marlene sighed, "that's what it's like for me too... nice."

"Is something wrong with nice?"

Marlene took a deep breath. "Well, I was talking to Lily on the train, and she had her first kiss over Christmas. This boy on her estate, she's always had a bit of a crush on him. And she was describing it, and she said it felt... like fireworks, like her whole body was alive. And we've just... never had that, I don't think."

Sirius had to admit, that was true. He'd come to the conclusion that the stories he'd heard, about what kissing was supposed to feel like, had all been overblown and exaggerated. That everyone was as ambivalent as he was. But if Evans felt something different - and she would never lie.

"Why do you think it's not like that for us?" he asked.

Marlene shrugged. "Maybe we're not supposed to date. Maybe we're supposed to just be friends. I mean, be honest, if we kept going the way we are now, but took out all the romance and kissing and hand-holding, would you be that upset?"

"I guess not," Sirius said slowly. "Does this mean we're breaking up?"

"I think so," Marlene said sadly. "I still wanna be your friend though! And gossip with you, and have you give me tips on my hair, and all that fun stuff."

"Okay," Sirius nodded. "We can break up, and go back to being friends. I'm telling everyone I broke up with you, though."

Marlene leaned over and shoved him, grinning, the tension in the room evaporating. "You are not, wanker! We can say it's mutual, and if anyone wants to know anymore details, we tell them to bugger off."