fatal love

Chapter 58

Sirius stormed out of the dorm. He was going to destroy Mulciber. He had never seen Lily like that - she had looked so small, swamped in Remus' sweater, voice shaking and eyes red-rimmed.

He had known the curse Mulciber used, he'd known what it was as soon as Lily described it. It was one of the ones Walburga had taught him last summer. It was old, and painful; it had been used in the Seventeenth Century to brand werewolves.

He had let his Black mask fall over him without even trying to resist it. He didn't want to resist it right now. He wanted to punish Mulciber the way he deserved, the way Walburga would punish a muggleborn. Maybe a Crucio. He could do it easily, he knew that, and it was less than Mulciber deserved. He wasn't interested in empathy right now, he needed vengeance. This was too fucking far.

"Sirius, wait!"

Sirius stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning around. Remus was chasing after him, and he cursed internally. He didn't want Remus with him right now. He needed to be a Black; he needed to be cold-blooded, and malicious. But even looking at Remus now, he could feel the cracks in his armour start to appear. Remus was still only wearing a vest, and Sirius just wanted to cover his arms, because he knew that if Remus were thinking straight, he wouldn't want to be running around the school with his scars on display.

"I don't need your help," he said bluntly.

"I know," Remus shot back, reaching him. "Lily happens to be my friend, I want to curse Mulciber myself. Fucking pig."

Sirius stared at him. He looked angry, like Sirius had never seen him before. His brown eyes, normally so welcoming, were blazing in fury, his mouth a flat line. Sirius sighed, and took off his jacket, handing it to Remus. "In case we run into people," he said shortly.

Remus looked at it blankly for a second, before he realised what Sirius was saying. "Oh," he said quietly, anger fading for a second, "thank you."

Buggering fuck, his mask was slipping again. He should let it go, get back into the right headspace. But he couldn't stand Remus' expression, and he physically couldn't ignore it. It hurt him to see it, somewhere deep inside. "You don't need to wear it," he said gently, "I don't think your scars matter at all. I just thought you'd rather cover them up, I know you don't like them."

"Yeah, I know," Remus muttered, pulling the jacket on. The sleeves were too short on him, and didn't quite reach his wrists. A tiny part of Sirius liked how Remus looked in his jacket anyway, but he didn't have time to think about that right now. "Are we going to find him, then?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded once, and they walked down the hall in silence. Sirius tried to regain his anger, go back into that dark place where he was Heir to the House of Black, but it was much harder to do with Remus at his side. Like Remus blocked off that part of him.

They found Mulciber exactly where Lily had told them he would be, unconscious in the middle of a dark hallway.

"He's still out cold," Sirius said, "Evans must have hit him with one hell of a Stupefy."

"Is it bad to kick someone who's knocked out?" Remus asked him.

Sirius shrugged. "Probably, but I won't care."

That was all the encouragement Remus needed, apparently. He walked right up to Mulciber, and kicked him hard in the ribs, once, twice, three times. "What are you going to do?" he asked Sirius.

Sirius thought about this. Standing here, in front of Mulciber, he felt pretty fucking ruthless. He wouldn't be able to perform a Crucio though, not with Remus looking at him. It wasn't even that he didn't want Remus to see him do that, he just couldn't gather enough hatred.