𝐈 𝐍 𝐓 𝐎 𝐘 𝐎 𝐔

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄

9:00 am
I wake up the next day tired. My face is puffy and dry from my tears, Xiao still lays beside me an expression painted over his face that confuses me intensely.
I have no motivation to do anything. I just want to sleep forever.
I go back to sleep pulling the covers over my head.

2:54pm
I wake up again, more tired than before, Xiao's not next to me anymore I can hear crashing of dishes down stairs and distant laughing.
I go back to sleep again. blocking out everything this time.

8:12pm
I wake up again by being pushed slightly.
"Y/n?....Y/n...." Xiao's voice whispers, I roll over to see him.
He helps me to sit up.
"You okay you've been sleeping all day?" He questions his voice concerned, sitting beside me.
"I'm fine." I lie, he knows I'm lying but decides to ignore it.
"What happened when I tried to kill my self." I ask staring at the wall, curious, Xiao places my hand in his.
"If your thoughts are becoming suicidal again please Y/n tell me. I want to keep you alive and help you." His voice soft and his touch gentle.
"No it's not. I just want to know. What happened after you screamed for me? When you left the apartment block. What happened." I look at him in the eyes, he sighs slightly.
"Well I pulled away after you ran away. I was driving back it's like 8:14. I knew something was off so I turned back around and drove back to the apartments.
I arrive at like 8:30, running up the stairs. I started to knock on the door. I peeked through the letter box to see you lying there unconscious.
I started shouting for your name and kicking the door.
I run into my apartment when you crawl over to the window.
I jumped over the balcony to get to you instead of kicking your door down- I screamed your name running up to you as you stabbed yourself.. After I got to you I pulled you close wrapping my shirt tightly around your wound. It was 8:56 at this rate. I was obviously crying, I was constantly apologising because I felt so bad for leaving you. You woke up at one point saying 'ew wipe your salty tears of my face. It's gross. ' it made me laugh a bit I knew you were there.
I did what you asked.
I remember you saying 'Xiao if I die. I don't want you to be upset or angry with yourself or anyone. I did this cause I'm upset and unhappy and you can't control that. Remember me forever onwards.. I love you.' Your hand fell from my face as you slipped away agin before I could reply. I broke down again. The ambulance came soon after that." Xiao spoke softly tearing up, my mind paced as I try remember me speaking but I guess I was still mentally unconscious.
"Oh sorry" I reply bluntly, I was loss for words.
"Are you hungry? You haven't eaten" Xiao asked changing the subject.
I shake my head, going back into bed and sleeping.
Blocking the world out once again..
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I swear it will get better soon I promise ok-
Have a good day/ night/ morning/ evening
I love you and I'm proud of you
Stay hydrated and safe and healthy <333