Hating Loving You

Chapter- 40 {2}

His hand made a loud 'chap' sounds when he prisoned me between his arms. Oh lord, his hands, it must have hurt.

"Vaarin, please, calm down" I held is biceps in order to make him relax.--------------And regret is a feeling which I never want to face.

Continuation-

"Calm down?" He released a laugh of mockery
"Of course it will be only you who would tell me to calm down rather than helping me do so!" His mockery long gone, exchanged with sheer anger.

Now, I wasn't just scared for our relationship but also my life. Shit Scared. I have witnessed what he can do when he is angry, and hell if I want to see that again.

"Va-" "You know what will really help me calm down??" He hit the wall again and I tried to sink in the wall, only if that was possible.

Mia! It's no time be a coward! You are the reason for this at the very first place, you are the reason he is angry! You are the reason you guys are fighting!

I know, I know, I know I'm bad.

"You telling the truth! The complete truth! What the actual shit happened 3 years ago! Don't I deserve to know that?" He tried to be calm.

The fact that Vaarin is always so composed and calm but this mere matter make him lose his sanity, I just make him lose his shit.

"Vaarin I can explain-"
"Then explain! Please do! I'm dying ti know the whole damn truth! Not from now but from the day, the day you rejected me!" I flinched at his tone.

I took deep breaths in as he just stared at my face, finally giving me a chance to speak.

I opened mouth to speak but I was sure he could notice me shaking.

I made my mind not to Sutter but only if my body wanted to listen to me.

"Vaa..rin, lo..ok I.. " I took a deep breath in again to make myself stable "I know you deserve to know the truth but" Hearing this word his face expression changed to dark.

"But, I am not ready, I don't know how to put it out in words-" I looked here and there to make him understand.

"So there is something behind all this? A reason why you did all this?" Vaarin tone didn't had any anger from the previous argument, it was more dejected now.

I looked at him with my eyes filled with tears. There wasn't any light at the house, the windows were closed, just the faded light coming from curtains, making the scene more dark.

He turned around, completely disappointed. He took one step and started walking, I stopped him again. I was feeling so stupid, and ridiculous.

"Vaarin, look it's not like I don't want to tell you this" I held his biceps with all strength I had to stop him, and he did. I was so glad that he didn't jerk my hand off. "I...- I want to tell you everything, I just know how to, I-I"

"Stop" My eyes shot up to his and he was staring back at my eyes.

"I , I have seen how we end up when we force each other. How much I hate to say but I don't want to force you tell me the truth, and who knows if you will even tell me the complete truth this way." Does he not trust me ?
What have you done to make him trust you?

"However this doesn't help the betrayal, that feeling which I'm feel right now. And no one better than you would know the person behind it" he gave that accusing gaze and in shame I looked down.

"Just let me go, I don't want to be here. I don't know what will I do if I not leave" He started moving forward, again.

I shook my head in no as few drops fell from my eyes. "Vaarin please stop" I followed him to the gate and kept asking him not to go and hear me out but I don't think he was in the mood to listen.