CHAPTER 35

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few months later -
wow. It's been a while. last time i was just recovering over me being shot and been put through a coma and I didn't know how life was going to go for me. I had Noah, he was my boyfriend and he still is and the connection has just gotten stronger. He is literally me but a boy version. he is amazing to me and means the most to me in this world, yes i met him like a year and a few weeks ago but I've never felt something like this, and sometimes, when you feel like that you know there the one. He cheers me up when I need it and comforts me when I need it as well. Ive been through a lot in the last year and I couldn't have gotten through it without him. like, I'm being serious. I don't know where I would be without that guy.

Also, the beach house is still a thing and I always still hang around with our friends, literally all the time. I'm either with Noah or them or together. Im closest with Maddie and Zoe because they get me the most, but the boys are great friends too. When I came here from Brighton I didn't know if I would be able to like make a social life, with friends, like true friends that you can go places with and socialise with them and do little things like go to the beach and everything but I got more than that. 4 amazing best friends and a boyfriend.

Since my mom showed up and told me about my fathers death I haven't seen her again. thank god. I didn't and don't want anything to do with her. she's a horrible woman and I'm ashamed to call her my mother. yeah, you might think that's a little bit harsh but personally I don't think it is. She literally dumped me when I was 19 with nothing, just in Brighton by myself. no support or anything. she moved to Russia with my father, and he didn't have a say in it at all, he just went along with it because of fear. She only did it because she was jealous. jealous of the strong bond me and my father had, so she took it away from us because she knew she had that power. And then, years down the line to top it off she arrives at my apartment, in Bali, where I came to forget about her and everything that happened to tell me that my father passed away. Yeah that hurt, a lot actually. but not just that, she only came because when he died she didn't have any of the money which meant she was broke. And she played the sob story just so I gave her a place to stay and give her money, just so she could use me again. which I was never going to do. I know her games and I wasn't going to play them any longer.

After the shooting in the bakery, it was hard. hard for me to get used to everything again, like normal. but Noah helped me massively, he helped me open it up again and so did his friends and then stayed with me for 2 weeks after that just so I wasn't fearful that anything bad was going to happen. And I wasn't, after those two weeks I was fine, back to normal and it's gone fine since. The bakery and my social media has gotten loads of recognition which made me grow more as a person and a baker and a shop owner.

so yeah, that's the life update. I'm still in the same apartment and Noah is still in his. He stays over a lot though and I stay over at his a lot as well. I haven't really met any of his family yet which is understandable because they live in the uk but hopefully I'll be able to meet them soon.

It was a Saturday morning. And I stayed over at Noah's last night, I mostly stayed the weekends or he stayed at mine. Noah was out to get pancakes for our breakfast and I was just getting ready for the day as per usual.

I get myself ready and just wait for Noah to come back.

I then hear the door open, it was Noah. I turn my attention to the door where he was walking in.

His face was blank? no emotion? sadness maybe? something must have happened.

"hey, you okay?" I ask him. no answer. he was just starring.

I stand up from my seat and head over to where he was.

"Noah what's wrong?" I say while walking up to him.

"my father" he says, you could tell his voice was breaking. No emotion in his face though, just his voice.

"what about him?" I ask him. I was very confused.

"he's-" his voice starts cracking. he had water in his eyes. he couldn't get his words out. he was shaking. somethings happened.

"he's what Noah?" I ask him. generally concerned.

"dead" he says. starring at the floor in front. still had water in his eyes, anger was filling him I could tell.

my emotion drops. I know what it's like loosing a father and he is closer with his so I can't imagine to think what he's feeling right now.

I just pull him in for a hug but he pushes me away. not allowing me to hug me.

"It's okay. your okay. I know what it's like to lose a father, come here" I say trying to pull him in for a hug. he doesn't let me.

"no. no you don't! you was not as close as your father as I was. You hadn't seen your father in years, and he left you. with me it's different. my dad was like the other part of me. the hardest thing i have EVER done is left him to move here" he says, getting louder. angry. very angry.

I'm just shocked. I was just trying to comfort him. yeah I wasn't as close with my father but I still know what it was like. him saying
that hurt. but I wasn't going to say anything because he is grieving.

"you should go." he says. no eye contact. brushing past me to go and sit in the sofa.

"Noah I-" I got cut off.

"you need to leave." he says blankly.

I was shocked. I didn't know he was going to act like this, I just wasn't expecting it.

I just grab my stuff and head out, upset by his words. trying to not let it affect me because he didn't mean it, I'll just give him time. hopefully he will come round.

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