Ziphozethu

50

"So? What are you wearing?" I couldn't understand why she was so excited. "I don't know. Anything." I didn't feel like it. I was sitting in my towel on my bed. "Don't be boring. Let me pick something." She went into my closet and came out with a red dress. "Hell no." I said and her face dropped. "Why?" I just shook my head. "No, it looks too desperate. I don't even want to go. Just choose something simple."

"What are you two doing?" MaRadebe walked into my room. My room was becoming everyone's room but I didn't mind. The more time we spent together the closer we got. "MaZulu and Moses are going out to dinner. She's being boring and she is adamant on looking boring too. But it's fine, I'm sure I'll find something."

I ended up wearing a silk spaghetti strap dress. We took a few pictures and then I met Moses by the staircase. "Are you ready?" He asked eyeing me up and down. I just nodded. "Wait, we want to take pictures of the two of you." MaRadebe and Nozipho came running. They forced Moses and I to take pictures. Those pictures were probably so awkward.

We had dinner under a gazebo on the beach. The only thing keeping me calm was the sound of the ocean. I was at my breaking point and Moses just eating his food and not saying anything was pushing me over the edge. I stopped eating and just looked at the ocean while trying to keep my tears back.

"MaZulu." I heard after a while. "Are you done?" I just nodded. "You ate one bite." I continued looking at the ocean and my tears started falling. "MaZulu?" I kept my eyes on the ocean. "I want to go home." I said softly. "But we just got here." I kept quiet looking at the ocean. "Okay, we can go back." The fact that he could see I was hurting and did nothing about it felt like a dagger straight to my heart.

The drive home was quiet and only my sniffing was heard. I got out immediately when we stopped and made my way to my room. "Why are you back so early?" MaRadebe asked but I just continued to my room. I locked my door and went to go cry in the shower.

The next morning Moses left early so he wasn't at breakfast. "MaZulu, how was your date?" MaRadebe asked. "What date?" She looked shocked but I just continued eating. "The date last night with your husband?" She seemed to be confused. "What husband?" She just folded her arms and looked at me in shock. "This is the nonsense that goes on in my son's house and then the elders get thrown out when they step in to help." I rolled my eyes and continued eating.

"What's wrong with you, MaZulu?" She asked in a soft voice and I laughed. "Really Ma? It's always MaZulu what wrong with you? MaDlamini what's wrong with you? Have you ever stopped to ask your son what's wrong with him. History repeats itself and the only common denominator is your son. But no, Moses Gumede can do nothing wrong."

"MaZulu, I understand that you're hurt but that's no way to speak to me."
"No ma! You don't! You don't understand! And that's the problem. Try fixing your son before you attack his wives for reacting to the bullshit he puts us through! At the rate we're going I would've been better off starving in shack in the township!" I was livid. "MaZulu, don't say that. You know that's not true."
"Oh, but it is! The day you met me you should've taken your son and left because all he's ever done was hurt me!"
"Then leave! Leave! I'll pack your bags for you!" She got up and made her way to the stairs.

I followed her to my room and she was busy throwing my clothes off my hangers. "If you don't want to be here then leave! Nobody is forcing you!" If she thought I was going to fight her she had another thing coming. I got a suitcase and helped her. "Fine! I'm leaving! But don't you dare come looking for me this time!"

She left me alone and I continued packing. I packed essentials and filled about two suitcases when I heard Moses screaming at his mother downstairs. I didn't even continue packing. I ordered an Uber and closed my bags so I could move them downstairs. I wasn't staying here any longer.

"MaZulu what do you think you're doing?" It was Moses. I grabbed my bags and wanted to go but he blocked the door. "Moses move."
"I'm not moving."
"Move dammit!" I tried pushing him but he stood still.
"Why are you stopping me? Why!? You clearly don't want me here anymore so why are you stopping me?!"

"You're my wife!" I was livid. I stood there breathing heavily. "You're wife? Why is it that I'm only your wife when I mention leaving. Moses you're a fucking fraud. Our relationship was built on lies. Lies that you somehow convinced me was necessary." I felt like my old self again. The scheming lying Zethu and I liked it.

It didn't last long. I looked into his eyes and realized that I still loved this man. He hurt me every chance he got and I still loved him.

"You promised my brother and I the world and you've made me pay for it every single day. I don't know what it is that you're trying to accomplish but you're tearing me apart piece by piece. I don't understand what it is that you want from me but I know it's not to be your wife. I've never been your wife." I wiped my tears and sat down. It was the first time I saw Ma and Nozipho in the doorway.

"I wasn't rich, I didn't have an inheritance like Nozipho, I didn't study any further than high school. I had nothing, and you came into my life at what I thought was my lowest and still I gave you everything!" Tears started falling from my eyes and his. "You were broken! You were broken and I fixed you! I did! Not your mother, not your wife, not any member of your family! I did!"

I felt like I was boiling over. "And here you stand today. You've taken everything you possibly can from me and still you insist on ripping the shell of a person that's left of me to shreds."

"Mamakhe."
"Don't!" I sat there trying to control my breathing. "You've succeeded Moses." I said after a moment of silence. "Well done. There's nothing left. You've destroyed all of what used to be me. I hope you're happy. I really do."

"Zethu..."
"No." I interrupted. "It's fine. We can work out some kind of arrangement. I now know that my name is good for your business and marrying you has put me in the spotlight. So let's continue with this fake marriage because both of us can't afford a scandal right now. Your business is booming and I'll figure out a career path but on a personal level I want nothing to do with you."