Ziphozethu

26

I was playing with Buhle in the back yard. I was still ignoring Moses and MaRadebe's calls. I didn't know how to feel about the situation. I had to keep on reminding myself that this is exactly what I wanted and for me to get to the end result I would have been in this situation with my family anyway.

They weren't all that bad, I just didn't feel any sort of connection to them. I moped around for two days until I got a call from my brother Sicelo. He was doing really well at school and he was making a lot more friends. I knew that he was only making more friends because he had more money but I didn't feel like messing with his happiness. Even though I wasn't trying to make him unhappy, the news that I gave him about being with my father and the family upset him very much. He didn't want anything to do with them and he wouldn't even talk to them.

"Zethu, are you planning on coming in anytime soon? We're having lunch." I just sighed and got our things and got up. I didn't eat much. I just fed Buhle so she can go down for her nap. "We've received a letter from the Gumede's. The lobola negotiations will start Saturday morning." Everyone cheered and ulalated. The only thing I was looking forward to was getting out of this damn house.

Buhle took a nap and I decided to check my phone. I had hundreds of messages from Moses and MaRadebe. Just as I was about to open them my phone rang and it was Moses. I decided to answer this time. "Hello." I heard a sigh of relief on the others end of the phone. "Mamakhe, thank God you answered. I was about to come knock at your door." He tried joking.

"Baba, what's going on?" I asked after a brief silence. "Mamakhe, what do you mean?" His question annoyed me. "What do I mean? We went from getting married to me being downgraded to a second wife. And you sprang this news on me infront of my father giving me no choice. You've never even spoken to me about isithembu. Never have you insinuated that we'll ever be in a polygamous marriage with that woman."

I could feel myself getting angry. "Mamakhe, this is what's good for everyone involved. Nozipho and I have decided to stay married. Her and I will be taking a break and during that time you and I will spend our time together and build our marriage. Once we all sit down and discuss  we will decide on a time frame. After that time has past we'll come together and figure out how we'll live together. This is not a downgrade Mamakhe I promise. I believe our love is strong enough to make this work."

I didn't know what to say. "Zethu! Come down here please." I heard Fikile yell. "I have to go. Bye, baba." I switched my phone off and went downstairs. "You're father wants you dressed in full traditional clothing for the lobola negotiations this weekend. Let's take a walk down to my friends house. She does beadwork and makes our clothing."

I didn't argue. I just went with it. I made sure I looked decent and followed her and my eldest brother outside. There was still one random photographer out there who followed behind us at a distance taking pictures. The village actually looked really beautiful. Everything your eyes saw was bright green because of the rains. The village was a mixture of brick houses and huts. We even past a lodge on our walk and Thulani explained that it belonged to our family.

"Oh, here they come. They probably heard we were out walking. Those two over there are our maids. They are on holiday but they've been pestering me to come back early ever since they heard about you." The two ladies approached us and bowed as they greeted us. "Indlovukazi, we were wondering if you had gotten our messages to return to work?" They asked after all the formalities. "Yes, I've gotten it. And yes, you can return. We need your help this weekend. If you can, come in tomorrow." They thanked her and said goodbye. They squealed as they walked away.

I reached a small house on a dirt road. The elderly started ulilating. "Royalty is at my doorstep!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. She greeted us and then Fikile explained what we needed.  "Her father wants her to wear leopard skin. He has that for her so we need beads, a skirt, and those beautifully beaded shoes." She pointed at the sandals on the table.

I got colourful beaded bands for my arms, ankles and my head. I went with the biggest beaded neckpiece she had and Fikile chose my beaded skirt for me. She paid for it and we walked back. I was smiling and waving at people who came out to see me and we finally reached home.

Buhle was up and screaming. All the younger boys just stood there staring at her in shock. "What is is baby? Huh? What's wrong?" I picked her up and she laid her head on my shoulder. She was still crying but not as loud. "She woke up like this." Veronica said handing me her blanket. "Did you have a bad dream?"

She was moody the whole day and I had to keep her on my back while Fikile and Gugu taught me "Makoti" duties and rules I would have to follow. They tried teaching me how to start a fire, cook a traditional meal, most importantly pap. These were things I had to learn as a child to survive. Eventually they stopped telling me what to do and I cooked dinner for the whole family.

The other wives came out and watched me as if I was putting on a show. I could deny it but I was putting on a show. I had three fires going and I was making a full meal for more than twenty people with a baby on my back and absolutely no help. My dad even came out and watched for a few minutes. I was waiting for him to say something but he never did. He just went back into the house.

Fikile helped me dish up for everyone and we all sat down to eat. "MaZulu, the food is delicious. I'm very impressed. Tomorrow morning we'll go and collect wood early and you'll make pap for breakfast. The elders will be joining us. After breakfast I'll teach you how to make umqomboti. We'll serve tea and prepare lunch as well as supper. The elders are nervous about your ability to be a good wife because you grew up without the proper guidance but I'm sure they'll change their mind when they see you in action."

The next morning we were up early. I wore my traditional skirt I got for my coming of age ceremony and this time I was allowed to wear a top with it. I wore a beaded headband and when Fikile was satisfied we walked to a bush and gathered fire wood. She taught me how to tie it and how to place it on my head. I got the hang of it quite quickly.

The sun started rising on our way back. Out of one of the houses a car pulled out. It was Nozipho. She waved and drive off. "Is that where MaRadebe lives?" I asked when we continued walking. She just hummed in response and stayed quiet after that.

I started the fire when we got home and went to get Buhle. I fed her while fighting my nausea and then tied her to my back. I made breakfast and was introduced to my elders. I sat respectfully one my grass mat with my head bowed. I said nothing as they scolded me for having sex and falling pregnant before marriage. I then went on to make tea for the four old men and their wives and then breakfast was served.

Chairs and a huge tent was delivered and I asked ma what is was all for. "Both families have decided we want to settle this as quickly as possible. So we are doing the lobola negotiations and the umembeso ceremony on the same day. A month from now we'll do the umabo ceremony and you'll be officially married." She answered while she was teaching me how to make traditional beer.

"And the umembeso is?" I asked still confused. "Moses is introduced as the son in law. He's family presents our family with gifts. After the presentation of gifts he will be allowed in our yard and home. Then an aunt from his side will present you with a new dress and dress you symbolising that you are now a woman who is leaving her family and getting married into a new family. We drink, eat, sing, dance, and celebrate the union of the two families."

I spent those two days cooking and serving the family which really got them off my back. I couldn't wait for Saturday so I could continue with my life.