We'll Make Memories

49

-- Alba's P.O.V. --

"I screwed up big time, didn't I?" I said flatly. My head was on my moms lap as she combed her fingers through it.

These past two weeks, I've kinda been... I don't know how to put it. I wouldn't say I was depressed but I wasn't feeling like doing anything.

During the day, while my family wasn't home, I cried and sulked in my bed. Then when my family came home, I tried to put up a strong front but I knew they could see right through it. Then I'd cry myself to sleep.

It had just become a routine.

I feel so bad to have done that to Dinah but I was only doing what was best for her... Right? Even though it made me feel worse than I ever have before.

She'd be so much better if I wouldn't be there, making the girls hate her or other people.

I hadn't noticed any trace of her on social media and I think the fans were suspecting something.

"You really did." I groaned and sat up.

"You're not supposed to say that." I wiped my puffy cheeks.

"Then what am I supposed to say?"

"Maybe 'no you didn't because you were only trying to protect her' would be good."

"Are you sure you're trying to protect her?"

"Yeah... I wouldn't break both of our hearts for no goddamn reason." I eyed my mom. "Wait... What are you talking about?"

"Are you sure that she's the person you're protecting?"

"I-" I sighed and laid my head back on her lap. "Don't know... Why is this so frustrating?!" I rubbed my eyes harshly.

My mom smiled sadly and raised my head so she could stand up. "It's okay sweetie. Just try and sleep." She pulled the covers over me and kissed my forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too..." I said quietly as she turned off the lights and slipped through the door.

I sighed and tossed and turned for about ten minutes before wetting my pillow with tears.

I made a huge mistake.

But I don't know how to fix it.

----

I stood in front of the mirror in my room, looking at my body.

I know it sounds weird but it was fascinating. Watching your stomach go from flat to slightly protruding.

Not a lot but still something.

I smiled softly to myself and then frowned.

Dinah would love to see this.

I shook my head off the thought because I knew it would most likely make me cry and I honestly couldn't be bothered.

I slipped on some jeans and a sweatshirt. Rita and I had went and bought some things but failed to actually get anything for the future so me and my mom were going today.

And, honestly, I was so relieved because I had no idea what to look for.

I sat on the floor in front of the mirror, getting ready to put on my makeup.

I had dark circles under my eyes and my eyes were always bloodshot. Probably from crying so much.

"Are you ready sweetie?!" My mom yelled up the stairs as I put finishing touches on my makeup.

"Yeah!" I yelled back and stood up. I quickly walked down the stairs to join my mom at the front door. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"The mall. Many options there." She smiled.