Secret Love Nest '21

Personal Update!!!

Hello this is me Ginaddict, using Dayu's diary to post an update about myself.

This is for @Tecia12345

Thank you thank you so much for inquiring after my health, Tecia! I truly appreciate it.

Okay, where to begin. First, I am alive. Thats the only way I can describe myself right now, I am alive. And thats a good thing.

Second, if you all can recall I posted in my status that I contacted Covid in the earlier days of this month, just right after New Year. And please also remember that I said I got well from it. We isolated and all. But then, I was just about to get on my feet from Covid, asthma season arrived in our household.

I know! Unlucky af. It was Covid and then asthma. This girl couldn't catch a break. Asthma is something I am used to tho since its a condition we inherited from our father. Me and my siblings suffer from ashtma attacks at least twice a year, defending on our trigger. Mine is if the weather got too hot or too cold which what happened this January. The weather got too cold so my asthma decided to pay my lungs a visit. Which sucks, I'm not gonna lie.

But I was used to it. Asthma. I know I can beat it and get better...until Jan 14th came when I had to be rushed to an emergency room because of excessive coughing, tight chest and my oxygen level dropped to 88% which I didn't think it was so bad. I mean 88%, if that is my grade in a test on Math or Science, I'd be happy and content with that. 88% is high. Thats basically a B+, right?

Except its not when we are talking about oxygen level. Fun fact; normal oxygen level should be at 95% up. That means you need an A+ grade if the test is oxygen level on your body. Oximeter is your friend at this point. But mine dropped to 88% and thats not good so I was rushed to the emergency room where a lovely nurse stuck a plastic tube under my nose, plugged it on an oxygen tank and it helped me to breathe.

Scary. Very very scary moment. Terrifying really.

That was Jan 14th and I stayed for almost three days in the hospital until I was cleared enough to go because my oxygen level got into the normal level and my fever finally broke. But before I left, the doctor who monitored my health in the hospital told me that one lasting effect of the Covid virus is giving their victim weakened lungs. Thats why asthma had such a party with my lungs because Covid weakened it first before I recovered from it.

Again, really scary thought.

Good thing I was fully vaccinated, I survived the whole ordeal. Covid and asthma. Now I am back home, still recuperating. Tbh, I am still coughing. I can feel it, my body not recovering as fast as I want it to be. Not as fast as before. I don't know if its all psychological but yeah, I believe the doctor who told me that my lungs are not as strong as before Covid came to my body.

Its been almost a week now since I got out of the hospital. I feel mostly fine, with the occassional coughing. But this episode set me so far back so bad. Like everything now is on hold because of my health.

Silver lining, I am alive. I say this because two days ago, I read about a creator I am following died last Nov 2021. I don't know how they passed away but I feel like that could have happened to me as well. Being confronted by your mortality is not that fun.

And I didn't tell you all about my asthma while it was happening because even I couldn't believe how unlucky I am. A new year just arrived and I am spending almost all days of it sick. Thats...why? Who would believe someone with such a bad luck like that? I was experiencing it and I cannot believe its happening to me.

So I didn't tell all of you because why would I give you all something to be worried about when all I want to give you all are some updates on my work. I was devastated that I couldn't pick a momentum to write. I...I feel like a total failure for being sick instead of being healthy and doing what I love to do; which is to write.

And all throughout my time being sick, I stayed online too. I had a plastic tube under my nose, I read comments here, I read mangas and webtoons, I even watched anime. I feel like I lived two lives while I was sick. Here I am, coughing and with a tight chest yet I kept checking things online, wanting to be part of it all.

Like I said, now I am at home, recovering. Well, I feel mostly fine now. Just the occassional coughing. I'm trying to get healthier too. And the good news is that I am getting my writing groove back. Evidence is this, I am writing a 872 (so far) words about an update on my health. Thats a lot of words, if I may say so.

My plan was to stay low and under the radar while I try to get more writings done and then update my works on February. Hopefully. But as of now, not making any promises as I already failed so many promises even to myself. But that was my plan.

Until I read Tecia comment, urging me to update you all about my well being and status. Tecia's comment reminded me that I have a responsibility to all of you to assure you all that I am doing my best to continue what I started. Hopefully to finish them.

And to that, I apologize. Truly. I'm sorry that I kept all the the asthma situation because I was scared that its too much for all of you to believe. I was scared you will all think I was making excuses again for my laziness on updating. I was scared to be judged that way, so I kept it to myself. Thinking and pressuring myself to get better so I can have some updates on February. That I will have something to show to all of you for all the time that I was quiet here.

Its my pride. I put a priority on my pride instead of giving you all what really happened. I chose to hide the truth that I was fucking unlucky this January 2022. That after Covid, it was asthma. Its on me, I'm sorry.

And I also don't want to invoke pity from you all. Once again, thats my pride speaking. My two most horrible thoughts were people doubting that I was seriously sick or believing that I was seriously sick and pitying me. Pick your poison, they are both the truth.

This update has exceeded a thousand word already. I don't know what will happen on the coming days or months, what I know is that I feel blessed to be alive. And that I can write and I found the words I want to say to all of you.

So my dear readers, again, I'm so sorry. It took me awhile to update. For letting you all worried and concern about me, I'm so sorry but at the same time, I feel thankful that I have you all to think about me. Thats...heartwarming really.

To Tecia, thank you so much! Your comment was the cold water I needed to slap me to finally put an update on my personal wellbeing.  And I wrote it here because the profile status has character limit and this long long post will not do there. Thats why I did it here. Borrowing Dayu's diary to give you all an update about me.

And lastly, I hope to see you all on February. I truly truly hope I'll get to update next month. Thank you for all the patience and understanding. And as always, please keep being safe. Don't get Covid, it has lasting effect on the body when you had it.

If you have any question you want to ask me, feel free to dm me here, I will answer all questions. Don't be shy. If there is something you didn't understand on my post, I'll be happy to clear any confusion. He he.

I love you all. I do. You are all my precious readers. Thank you for staying with me until now.

With all my love,

Ginaddict. ^_^