Secret Love Nest '21

This Year's Spring

Its Spring! And you all know what that means!

DaWan: Achoo! (sniffing) Hay season?

Me: (taking a step away from her) No. It means cleaning time. But, do you have hay fever? Colds? Why are you sniffing like it will run out of fashion?

DaWan: I'm fine.

Me: That actually didn't answer my question.

DaWan: (glaring at me) I am fine.

Me: Don't glare at me. I won't be scared of you. You are barely 5 feet tall.

DaWan: I'm 5'2.

Me: Exactly!

DaWan: (shaking her head) No. I refuse to enter the twilight zone that is your crazy.

What?!

Me: (feeling affronted) I'm not crazy.

DaWan: Really? Ever since you saw a semen splatter on the shower stall in the bathroom courtesy of your last departed visitor, you have been acting like a, for a lack of better word to use, crazy person.

Me: I regret telling you that story.

It was a long story but the short version is that I will never invite one of Qing's friends to ever stay in our condo again unless they sign a binding contract that says they will never masturbate in our shower stall while taking a bath or else they will hand over they severed penis to me.

Guess who is the persona non grata in my books right now.

(MD?)

And Qing. I am still pissed at your Baba although he thinks all is well now because I gave him sex two nights ago after he came home with some gourmet donuts for me. Ah donuts, my ultimate downfall.

(Baba could be simpleminded, really)

True. True. Anyways...

DaWan: (deadpan tone) You told everyone that story.

Me: (eyes widening) I didn't tell it to my parents. Or Qing's parents.

DaWan: (sighing tiredly) I envy them. Ignorance is actually a bliss when it comes to your stories, really.

Me: Can you all stop sounding like my fiancé when he is about to be done indulging me?

DaWan: Qing ge is a saint.

Me: (scowling at her) And I will not let you take home some of my lemon bars.

DaWan: (horrified) Thats...thats...that threat should be illegal!

Ah, she is so easy. Her weakness is my lemon bars. How convenient for me.

Me: (superior smile) Be nice to me. You are so lucky to be working for me. Where can you find an employer who gives you top dollar for your services, bakes you goodies and looks hot like me?

DaWan: How am I supposed to answer that?

Me: With the truth.

DaWan: (gleefully) Across the hall. I have an employer there who is extremely generous, bakes mean choco chip cookies and more gorgeous than you. She and her daughter are so lovely.

I opened my mouth to give a reply to what she said but DaWan's point was so ON point that I lost my train of thoughts. I forgot for a moment that DaWan works for the Goddess as well and that DaWan is a LOT smarter than me.

Shit! I knew it! I should never argue with a certified genius. And when I said certified, I meant DaWan took the government approved IQ test and she is a genius indeed.