21 JUMP STREET LOVE WITH TOM HANSON

CHAPTER 18: THE BREAKUP

Sydney went home that night and was all upset.  Booker and Judy had noticed that she was real quiet not really talking much to anyone and wanted leave early.  Sydney was going to stay at Judy's for the night so Judy asked her after Booker had left what was wrong, What did Hanson do to upset you

Sydney said "he asked me if I would give him a chance to be friends. He knows that he's lost me as a best friend but he wants to be friends" She said "I know you still are in love with him, is that what you want to be friends"

Sydney said "yes and no. I mean I need to not let him be more than a casual friend even if that is what I wish, cause I can't let him hurt me again. He explained why he did what he did, and some of it makes sense that he was scared, and the strength and power of his love scared him, but still I can't forget what he did. I don't know Judy. I don't want him to quit, I mean when I think about if he quit and I never saw him again, I don't know if I can deal with that."

She said "I thought he was going to stay"  Sydney said "I think he is. Anyway I think if we just hung out in a group I could take it, but being alone with him, I am so afraid that he would figure out I'm still in love with him, and then he'd be able to talk me into being his best friend again, and I'm setting myself up to be hurt again."

Judy said "honey you need to do what is best for your mental health."  Sydney said "He promised me if I'd give him a chance to be friends he was thru with hookups and sex and he would prove to me I came first and he would be available any time day or night if I needed something."  

Sydney said "Judy he says and Doug and Harry say that it's not what I thought that Jackie was lying. He was never her boyfriend or her man, and they only had sex a handful of times. And she even forced him too to keep charges from being filed on me."  Judy said "yeah Doug told me that"  Sydney said "i guess if he's willing to make that kind of effort to be friends with me, how do I say no. I mean he looks so miserable and so hurt and so alone. It hurts me but I don't want to set myself up for more heartbreak.  I just don't know how he could be so in love with me like he said and then end up leaving me there and leaving with her or with any of the other girls. And it makes it even worse he always blames it on me."

Judy said "how so"  Sydney said "he said that he was going to tell me he wanted be with me and he was in love but because I was talking to Booker and laughing at his jokes with you he changed his mind and then went on that date with her. And he had dumped her but because on the case where he thought Booker raped Tracy, because I said I was with Booker all night he assumed we were having sex, so he went to hook up.  He could have asked me, but when I tried to explain he blew me off and was so mad he just stormed off. he was sleeping with her I thought so I didn't see or think it was his business what I did"

She said "he needs to take responsibility for his actions and not blame you.  You actually have every right to be with Dennis or any other guy."  Sydney said "Judy I only want Tommy"  She said "I know; So have you thought about calling off this fake relationship"  Sydney said "No Judy I can't. Please don't tell Tommy it's fake. Then he will know how much I still love him."

Judy said "I won't ever tell I promised you that. I'm just thinking that now might be a good time for you to end this, just have a fake breakup"  Sydney said "I can't Judy. Cause without that then he will start coming near me more or coming over and I can't resist him Judy."

She said "I know but you can tell him he's not welcome to come over. Tell him that you are not comfortable being anywhere alone with him But I think you need tell Tom and everyone that you and Booker broke up."  Sydney said "why"  She said "Well for one thing it's kind of hard on Dennis,"  Sydney said "Has he said anything to you"  She said "no but he has to sneak around to go hook up with girls so that no one sees him"  Sydney said "I know I feel bad about that."  Judy said "And the other thing is Dennis wants to be with you for real, it's pretty obvious"  Sydney said "he's a great guy, and I love him so much, but not like that. I just don't want to be with him like that"  Judy said "I know. Just think about it ok. I don't want to see you get hurt worse than you have already been, and the potential is there for that."