Our Sinful Love | TaeGyu AU✔

"attack"

The darkness was thick, the only light coming from the stars that twinkled in the sky and the dim moon. The sounds of cicadas were loud and annoying, their chirping making him want to throw his hands up and shout at them to shut the fuck up. A small, red, firefly flew across his vision, but he didn't try to chase after it. Instead, he continued to run, listening to the loud sound of his shoes against the cold ground.

The pitch-black was suffocating. It was almost like it's trying to hold him in its arms and never let go again, so he ran away. He ran until the darkness gave way, and he found himself standing on the outskirts of a forest, with nothing but the sounds of nature around him and his own heavy breathing to accompany him.

The wind blew through his hair as he breathed. The dark seemed impossibly bright, but it wasn't like he needed the light. His eyes were adjusting slowly and gradually, but there was something wrong with them. They were blurred with fat tears and he had difficulty seeing his surroundings clearly.

Everything else was fine except for the fact that he's not fine, because he had never been.

The trees were tall around him. They're looming over him like they would swallow him whole if he dared look too closely. Their branches were long and covered in leaves. Some of the leaves looked like little stars hanging above him and some of them looked bigger and brighter than any star could ever be. And he knew they're all just as fake as his life right now, but no matter how many times he told himself otherwise, that knowledge didn't really bring him any comfort or relief.

No, instead of feeling better, it only served to make him feel worse. He wanted to yell at himself, to tell himself that he deserved this, that he should have seen this coming, but he couldn't. Not when he had spent the whole weeks ignoring every sign and trying to pretend that he had gone crazy and was imagining things; that nothing was wrong and everything would be okay, but nothing was okay in reality. His feelings towards Taehyun weren't okay. There was an ugly, painful kind of longing in his chest, which made his breath hitch and made tears sting at the corner of his eyes. He felt hollow and empty inside because he knew that this was real and there was no chance to get out of this without consequences.

He closed his eyes tightly. He needed to stop thinking about this, stop letting these thoughts consume him, and start thinking about why he even came here.

There was nothing. No one. Only silence surrounded him. He had come alone to this place, to this part of the woods where the shadows stretched outwards and made him dizzy; where the trees seemed to reach out and grab him, pulling him into their embrace.

He took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked around. He saw nothing, nothing but trees, bushes and grass. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't do that. So he clenched his jaw tightly and held back those unshed tears because crying now wouldn't fix anything. Crying later might make things more complicated and hopeless.

He ran. He ran as fast as he could. He ran until his lungs burned until his throat was dry and scratched, till his legs felt heavy and numb and every step seemed heavier than before. He ran until his feet started to hurt until he stumbled and fell. He lay down on his stomach, his head buried in his folded arms, and he cried, but silently. He cried because he couldn't scream; because there was no one around to hear him cry out for help.

What was he even running away from? His feelings? Was he scared of what they might mean? Did he hate himself for feeling that way? Or did he hate Taehyun for making him feel like this?

His heart ached. His breathing quickened. His fingers dug into the ground beneath his arms, hard enough to leave imprints of his nails in the dirt. His throat tightened painfully, and yet he still could not cry loudly. He felt like screaming, like shouting and doing anything that would make him feel less lonely, freer, less lost, but he also knew that it would make him look weak, so he stayed quiet.