ANGEL

Twelve.

Beyoncé

The sound of the alarm going off made me jump in my sleep, instantly my eyes opened. The alarm reminded me so much of my past and everything I have been through. A wave of emotions came onto me as I thought back on the traumatizing events I endured in the military as well as my chaotic childhood that resulted in everlasting paranoia and PTSD.

The bed shifted and the ringing alarm came to an end just as quick as it had started. Arms wrapped around my torso and I could feel lips softly pecking my neck. The gesture put my mind at ease. I closed my eyes and basked into Josh's love before he could pull away and start preparing for the day. I embraced the opportunity to curl under the covers to get a few more hours of sleep since I didn't have to wake up as early as him.

"Have you contacted the wedding planner yet?" Josh questioned from the shower.

"No."

"Why?"

A slight frown appeared on my face as I began to question his timing. I kept my eyes closed with hopes I could fall back asleep, but I knew all too well that Josh could talk my ear off when something was bothering him.

"It slipped my mind baby. I've been having so much going on that I just haven't made the time."

I could hear the shower turning off and seconds later he was entering the room with the towel wrapped securely around his waist.

He maneuvered quietly around the room before speaking again, "Yeah I guess a wedding is the last thing on your mind."

From his hostile tone I knew Josh had to be in his feelings about something. It wasn't rare for him to get into one of his moods which usually caused me to fire back with my own attitude.

"The wedding isn't the last thing on my mind. Why would you even say that?"

"I'm just calling it how I see it Beyoncé." He shook his head at the dispute as I pushed my back against the headboard for leverage, "You don't try to make time to even have discussions about it."

"My priority has been my son! You told me you understood and now you're throwing it in my face?"

Josh joined me at the edge of the bed. It was obvious that he was frustrated but so was I. For the past several months, I've been focused on gaining a relationship with the child I lost and dealing with the several traumatic emotions it made me feel throughout the entire process. Planning a wedding wasn't the first thing on my mind, but it wasn't the last either. Connecting with Angel was more important for me, and of all people, I expected Josh to understand that.

"I'm not throwing it in your face," Josh said with a sigh, "Before Angel was even in the picture, you made it seem as if you didn't care to plan the wedding. I brushed it off because we still had time to discuss things over, but we're nearly a year into our engagement and you haven't even put the effort into reaching out to anyone to at least get the small things out the way."

"Okay," I said to end the conversation, "I'll call the planner today if that'll make you happy Joshua."

He sucked his teeth, "Nah, do what makes you happy Giselle. I'm not pressuring you, I'm just bringing something to your attention that bothers me. We can continue to wait it out forever like we've been doing."