Beyoncé, 34 has been keeping a secret. With her fiancé, Josh eager to have kids, they seem to cannot come into terms with the future of their relationship seeing that Beyoncé isn't ready to make that step with him. A sudden phone call from an unknow...
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"This will look so damn good on your body!" Kelly complimented. I stared at the white gown she held in her hands. Just like the past 20 we've looked out, I blankly stared before shaking my head.
She rolled her eyes and placed the dress back onto the rack, "You're so picky, you know that?"
I let out a sigh and took a sip of the Matcha Green Tea frappe from the Starbucks nearby as we continued browsing through the rack of dresses.
We've been shopping for the perfect wedding dress for the past two hours. Unlike her and Gabrielle, I actually hated shopping, especially for long periods. Like she said, I was very picky and I honestly wasn't in the mood.
I had just arrived back to Chicago from a 13 hour flight from Dubai. It nearly slipped my mind that I picked today of all days to begin searching for a wedding dress until she reminded me.
My attitude wasn't the best because I was tired, but also because I wasn't so sure if a wedding would even take place.
Ever since I left Louisiana and exposed my secret to my son, my decision has been weighing heavily on me. Josh and I were two months away from our wedding date and now I was suddenly feeling unsure if I was ready.
Jay was on my mind constantly. We talked nearly everyday which only made my feelings for him grow more. I wanted to avoid that from happening since I made it clear that Josh was the man I wanted, but it was so hard trying to suppress my feelings for Jay.
Unlike our many encounters before, we talked and laughed, and had deep conversations about our past and our future. I questioned if he had changed from the immature teenager he used to be, and I was truly blown away at how different of a man he was now.
His mindset has completely changed. He was gentle with his words. He was patient. He had goals outside of music. He wanted a family; a wife, more kids. For so long I thought he would turn out like his no good father, but he was nothing like him. Don't get me wrong, his father had a big influence on his life when we were younger, but I'm so glad to see how much he has changed.
I didn't realize that I had a smile on my face until I checked my phone and noticed the photo of Josh and I on my lockscreen.
He was the perfect man. How would I be able to tell him that I no longer wanted to be married? How would I tell him that I was still in love with my child's father? How could I do him that way after all he has done for me? How could I allow him to heal my heart just to break his? It wasn't right.
"Can we just take a break?" I asked, "I need food, I'm starving."
Kelly broke away from the rack of dresses and looked at me with a soft smile. "Yeah, you definitely need some food and maybe a drink or two in your system. Your grumpy ass attitude was this close to making me walk out of here."
