Through The Storm

49

                                                                                           Estella

Cade towers over me, one arm on each side of my head. I can hear each breath he takes, slow and deep breaths. He leans down to my ear and whispers darkly "You're still mine. You will always be mine Estella Josette. Mine." He emphasizes the last word. It plays over and over in my head, constantly repeating that one word. How can just a four-letter word make me feel so engulfed in pleasure, but at the same time terrified for myself—for how this will affect me. Before I can continue my thoughts, I feel Cade stop above me. This is it; this is the point where he jumps off and yells at me. I close my eyes in preparation, but all I hear is nothingness. It's silent, too silent.

Reluctantly, I open my eyes to look up at him. He's still stationed on top of me, not moving or making a single sound.

"Did I do something wrong again?" I can't help but desperately ask, hoping whatever he says won't break me.

"No—what? No, it's me. I just need to take a second." Okay?

"Okay, we can stop. I'm sorry." I'm pathetic. Apologizing to this man, the man who holds so much power over me, who inflicts so much anger, so much pain.

"Don't apologize. I'm just trying to think" He's too calm. Something is off but I can't comprehend anything, let alone figure out what's wrong with him now, while he's on top of me like this. Should I push him off? I probably shouldn't-. "What the fuck are you doing?" Oh, I tried to push him off. That was a bad move on my part.

"Sorry, I just can't think like this, with you... you know" I turn my gaze away from him, suddenly nervous by his presence. Embarrassed that I have no idea what to do in this situation, embarrassed that I can't function properly with him around. We still haven't moved.

"So then don't think, just do" He instructs me. But do what?

"Uh, I um- okay I don't know what to do though. You're upset and I was just trying to figure out what to say, but now I just feel bad because clearly something is wrong. If it's me, which I know you said it's not, but if it is, you know you can tell me." Silenced with a forceful kiss.

"Stop. Talking." He's back, trailing his hand back down my body, lightly gliding over my upper thigh. Grazing my skin with his touch is what makes me completely forget I even exist. He crashes his lips back to mine.

Silence fills the room again as he pulls away. I'm scared he's going to stop again, bur=t he was right earlier- I need this. So, I do the only thing that I know I'm good at, or at least think I am. I pull him back to me and kiss him with passion. I put my all into the kiss, hoping it's enough for him to start up again.

"Eager, are we?" He smirks at me, stopping again.

"Why do you keep stopping?" I try not to show emotion, but the fear shows through my voice. Fear that he doesn't want me.

"Baby girl, I'm just taking my time. Trying to decide what to do with you." He caresses my cheek.

"Oh" is all I can muster out before he comes back down meeting my lips with his.

Our lips dance together in perfect harmony, perfect sync. I bring my legs around his waist in attempt to pull him closer. Keeping one hand on my cheek, he uses his other to slide up and down my side, giving me chills all over. I reach for his shirt; he leans up so I can take it off completely, revealing his perfectly toned abs that should be illegal. Instead of bringing his lips back to mine, he trails them to the crevice of my neck. Attacking and nipping at the skin there.

He peppers kisses down my neck and across my collarbone. He puts his hands underneath my shirt and lifts it off of me in one motion. I hate myself for thinking about how many times he's done that. How many times has he used another girl the way he uses me? Oh god. Memories of the times he's told me "He just likes the chase" course through my mind. Am I stupid? Don't answer that. I'm suddenly reminded of where I am when I feel his hands squeeze around my breasts.

"Goddamn you're fucking perfect" he groans out.

Butterflies flutter in my stomach, my body feels so at ease. I have goosebumps littered across every inch of my body. And all I can feel are his lips, everything else is gone. The world, the problems, anyone and anything is gone. I could live in this moment forever.

"I love this." I say to him. Immediately realizing my mistake. He's going to think I'm saying I love you. And I'm not, because I don't. Or at least I don't think I do.

Silence, he just continues as if I didn't say a word. Maybe he didn't hear me, that would be a miracle.

He kisses down my chest, swirling his tongue over each nipple. He lightly bites down on my right breast, leaving small bite marks all over. He then switches to the next one, repeating every move. I moan out softly, trying not to be too loud. Not sure why, we're alone in my room.

"Tsk tsk tsk, you know I like to hear you baby. I want you screaming for me, so everyone knows who's doing this to you. Understood princess?" I nod my head in response, I don't know if I can trust myself to speak, I'm too flustered.

"Words baby girl, you know how this works." That sentence combined with the light assault he's doing to my nipples with each hand causes me to cry out loudly. He keeps pinching and squeezing as I see a small smirk appear on his face. "You still haven't answered me." He halts his hands, glaring at me with hunger in his eyes. "Do. You. Understand. Me." he says darkly. I'm too tempted to see what he'll do so I let out boldly "No."

Hands wrap around my neck, but not painfully. Its pleasure filled, lightly squeezing the sides of my neck in a way I've never experienced.

"Oh, I think you do Estella, you just want to play games with me, don't you?" I squirm beneath his hold.

"Maybe." I mutter out as best as I can.

He climbs off of me moving to the side of me before ordering "Turn over on all fours." I do as I'm told, excitement filling my veins. He pushes my face to the covers, leaving my butt stuck in the air. Then suddenly smack. "Count for me."

"One." I say softly. And before I can finish recovering smack. "Two." I whisper out. This goes on and on with me moaning and shrieking, until "ten." I say panting heavily. He leans down and kisses each cheek before rubbing his hand gently over the red skin. That was exhilarating, mind blowing. I've never felt anything so pleasurably painful. He flips me back over quickly. Ripping through my underwear, he tosses it to the floor and says "You took that so well baby. And I'm sure you loved every hit."

He circles a finger around my hole before thrusting it in quickly. I moan loudly, my breaths only picking up as he keeps thrusting in and out, adding another finger. He kisses me passionately while continuing his movements until it pushes me over the edge and I'm screaming out his name.

He doesn't say anything as I writhe underneath him coming down from my high. Why is he silent? He climbs from on top of me to the side of me again. And then, unexpectedly, he pulls me to his chest and positions me to be cuddling him. I can't help but giggle at him, this man has no idea how to cuddle.

"What's funny?" he turns his head to me, evident that he's refusing to smile.

"You. If you wanted to cuddle with me, you could've just said something." This is happiness. This is safe. I like it here and I don't think I'll ever be okay again after it's gone.

"Enjoy it before I change my mind." He glares at me but there's no anger on his face. No emotion other than contempt. He's happy here, he likes it here too.

~~

[ hi guys! I know it's been so long since I've updated... again. But, with school and work I've just been so overwhelmed. However, I am so excited that y'all are still reading and still supporting me and this story! Writing has been hard for me recently, I think my creative energy has been affected by all of the assignments and stress I've been going through. But thank you so much everyone and I love you all! ]