I watched him get ready in the bathroom. He always tried to look so good for his fans. I loved that about him. He cared so much for his fans and even though they have seen him at his worst, he still goes out of his way to look his best for them. He walked towards me smiling.
“I’m ready.” he kissed my cheek, “Let’s go.”
We were headed to dinner, but it was close by and Justin wanted to walk so he could talk to some fans before. We went downstairs to the lobby and of course, all of the bodyguards were waiting by the doors for us.
“They’re going crazy, Justin. Are you sure you want to walk?” one of the bodyguards exclaimed.
“Yes, they aren’t going to hurt me. It’s fine.” Justin smiled.
He grabbed my hand and we headed for the doors. Once we were outside, all I could hear were screams and all I could see were flashes. The bodyguards created a path so we could get to an open area where he could take pictures and talk to the fans without causing any issues. I stepped back and let him have his time with the fans. I took the occasional picture with a fan and talked to a few of them. They were so sweet.
45 minutes had passed and Justin had taken a picture with every single one of them and the bodyguards were saying it was time for us to leave. They started to walk away with Justin and I and the fans chased us. I was escorted back into the building and I thought Justin was behind me. I looked out the window and saw him being shoved left and right by the bodyguards who were trying to move him out of the way.
“Get him in here! He can’t be out there!” I yelled to Kenny, who was with me.
“Y/N, the fans are blocking the door. We’re trying.” he said.
I knew this wasn’t going to end well. I opened the door and yelled at the bodyguards.
“Get him in here right now!” I screamed.
I saw the panic in Justin’s eyes. I could tell that it was about to happen. Something I knew all too well. Justin was going to have a panic attack. Finally, they got him inside and he immediately ran into my arms.
“Shh, it’s okay, J. It’s okay.” I hugged his trembling body.
He began to shake and breathe hard. The bodyguards tried to take him from me and tried to take him outside for fresh air but I knew what he needed.
“Don’t touch him.” I snapped.
“I can’t breathe.” Justin repeated over and over again.
“Okay, sweetie. Come here, lets go over here.” I said, taking him over to an empty hallway.
I sat him down on a bench and kneeled in front of him. He was crying and hyperventilating. His body was a shaky mess.
“J, look at me baby. Look at me.” I said.
He looked at me with red eyes, but he knew that this would calm him down. We began to take deep breaths together. I rubbed his hands as his breathing came back down to normal.
“Good, honey.” I smiled at him, still rubbing his hands, allowing him to calm down further.
He pulled me into a hug and cried softly into my shoulder. He hates the feeling of a panic attack. He gets scared. I rubbed his back and let him cry. I hated seeing him like this. I mean, he has had claustrophobia his whole life but the panic attacks have only just recently started. He had a really bad one 3 days ago and he almost had to go to the hospital. I just want him to feel better.
“Hey, J? Let’s just order room service okay? We don’t have to go to dinner anymore.” I said, kissing his head.
He pulled away and wiped his tears.
“Okay.” he said frowning and standing up.
He was always weak after a panic attack so I held his hand tightly as we walked towards an elevator.
“Wait, do you want to take the elevator or the stairs, baby?” I asked, nervous of him having another episode.
“Stairs, please.” he whispered.
We turned to walk towards the stairs and I glared at the bodyguards. If they had listened to me and brought him in with me, he would have been okay. Justin and I made it upstairs. We both changed into comfy clothes and sat on the bed.
“I hate how often these are happening, Y/N. My doctor said if it gets worse I have to go on medication. I don’t want to take medication. I don’t want to get addicted, I don’t want that to happen again, I hat-” he began to sob, and I pulled him into a hug.
“Sweetie, I will help you. It’s okay.” I rubbed his back. I laid down in our bed and pulled him with me. I ran my fingers through his hair while he cried softly.
“I’m so thankful I have you, Y/N. I don’t know how you calm me down so much but you do and I love you so much.” he said, looking up at you.
“I love you too, Justin.” you smiled down at him.
The next day you and Justin flew back to L.A. He made an appointment with his doctor and he wanted you to come. His doctor specialized in anxiety disorders and panic attacks. You and Justin sat in the doctors office waiting. Finally, the doctor came in.
“Hi, Justin. So you told me about your most recent episode, how are you feeling?” the doctor asked.
“Tired, really tired. It was really bad. Y/N helped a lot though.” he said, placing a hand on your thigh.
“Well I’m glad she was there to help you. It seems that you have panic attacks triggered by your claustrophobia and you have a severe case of general anxiety. This can be fixed if you make the correct changes to your life. For you, I would recommend taking more time off work. I know you have been working hard but you are over working yourself. Also, spend more time with Y/N at home, relaxing and doing things together. You are young and you can’t afford to be ruined by anxiety. I can give you some exercises to do when you are feeling anxious, and Y/N, I can give you some things to look for to see if he may be having an anxiety or panic attack.” the doctor said.
“That sounds great, Doc.” Justin smiled.
You finished up at the doctors and headed home. Once you were inside, the two of you immediately got into your pyjamas even though it was only 4pm. You sat down on the couch together and started to watch your favourite TV show.
“Thank you for everything, Y/N.” Justin said.
You smiled.
“You’re welcome.” you said cuddling up to him.
He kissed the top of your head and pulled you closer.
