INSECURE

~33~

"am i too heavy?" i asked. "no" he whispered. During the trip, I felt santiago glaring at me causing me to look up. Amari had fell asleep with his hands on my waist, his head on my shoulder.

I missed that, but i couldn't tell anyone. "move his hands" santiago mouthed as i shrugged. "i cant" i mumbled. I couldn't tell him that i liked that he was kind of but not really holding me.

I shifted around, earning a groan from amari. "jae stop moving" he mumbled while sighing. "sorry" i mumbled while leaning back on him, not even caring about santiago at this point.

I felt his chin rest on my shoulder, his eyes glued to my shirt, which was showing a bit of cleavage. "nice shirt" he whispered as i smiled as bit. "i bet you're loving the view" i whispered as he smiled softly before chuckling.

"yeah, great view if you ask me" he whispered as his hand trailed around my stomach, pulling my shirt down even more causing my boobs to fall out a bit more. "that's better" he whispered as i tried to keep my legs from squeezing together.

This was wrong but felt so, so right. I was stooping to an all time low but at least there was a reward waiting for me when i got down. *wink wink*.

"the bad thing is, your lover boy, is right there. and we could get caught at any time" he whispered into my ear, his fingers playing with the distressed strings on the end of my shorts.

"but you like that, right baby?" he whispered softly, chuckling when i bit my lip. "you're so easy to turn on" he whispered softly as his head turned to the direction of the window.

"jae, what do you want?" alex asked while stopping in the drivethru at mcdonald's. "i'm not- she'll have a 10 piece chicken nuggets, grape fanta and a large fry" amari cut me off, earning a glare from santiago in the front.

"what? you know that's what she always orders. oh wait! you don't" amari spat while squinting his eyes at amari. I discreetly nudged him, telling him to knock it off. "bro will you just fuck off already?!" santiago shouted.

"or what?!" amari argued causing me to sigh while placing my head in my hands, trying to at least enjoy one part of my birthday. "can you both shut up!" i shouted on top of my lungs.

"i just want to enjoy my fucking birthday without hearing you screaming in my ear" i said while pointing to santiago. "oh so it's my fault?! you're sitting in his fucking lap!" he screamed at me causing me to scoff.

"says the one in the front seat, as we speak" i said. "well you caused it! if you didn't invite him- shut up shut up, shut up!" i said before yelling in his face. I opened the car door, quickly walking out.

I walked through the drivethru, walking past the window to sit under a tree that had a little bench. At this point i didn't care about my stupid birthday, it was just another year anyway. I just wanted to go home, to my bed, my soft, cold bed, with both sides of my pillow cold.

"jaeda" i heard someone whisper. I looked up to see maya and delilah walking towards me. "can i just go home please?" i mumbled. "no, we will not be driving you home" delilah said strictly.

"but i want to- we do not care jaeda, trust me" maya said as i sighed. "we came out here to have fun and celebrate you finally being legal and buying us stuff that we can't" maya said as i chuckled.

"those two in the car- alex handled it" they cut me off. "but where am i going to si- santiago's an asshole so you can sit in my lap instead" maya offered. "what about your fri- delilah's got her" she cut me off again, proving that there was no getting out of this.

I got up, brushing off my shorts before giving them both a hug. I honestly didn't know what i would do without them. The silence that hit me when i got back in the car was wayyyy past deafening.