Fawns Heart

{Forty-seven}

ça fait un mois sans toi

It's been a month without you.

A month I've barely been appart of. Two pills every day, I was close to running out. Every day I tried to avoid you, to look away. But every day I can feel you stare, I can feel your eyes. I wasn't depressed like you thought I would be, I didn't stay in my room and avoid you completely. I only avoided your eyes, so they wouldn't stare into mine.

My nightmares had gotten worse without Fred there, I was constantly scared someone was going to come into our dorm. Not just someone though, Williams. Every night when I couldn't sleep I kept my wand under my pillow, my hand holding it tightly, just incase.

"Fawn? Come on. Get up." Blaise kicked.

I had seemed fine to everyone, they said I had taken the break up well compared to how they thought I would've. 

If only they knew...

"Fuck off Blaise, It's a Saturday!" I yelled.

"Luna's downstairs, said you two had plans." He softened.

Fuck, I forgot about Luna. 

I quickly kicked my blankets off and got dressed into merlin knows what, not even I was paying attention as to what I was putting on my body. I took one pill before kicking the box underneath my bed and walking downstairs to meet Luna.

"Hi! I'm so sorry, I slept in!" 

"That's alright, shall we go?" She asked, though didn't wait for an answer, just started walking. 

One day I had started talking to Luna during charms, I told her about what I saw pulling the carriages, the creature I admired. I don't remember how the topic was brought up, I had had so many conversations over the past month that I didn't remember. She explained that they were called Thestrals and offered to take me to see them before the holidays started.

She lead me into the forbidden forrest, showing me the way until we found about ten of them. They were stunning, I don't know if that was the high talking or not, but they were beautiful because of how different they were compared to other creatures.

"How come George couldn't see them?" I pondered out loud as I gently patted one.

"They can only be seen by people who have seen death." She told me.

"You've seen someone die?" 

"My mum." She nodded.

"Oh Luna, I'm sorry." I smiled weakly, ignoring the feeling the high was giving me. 

"That's alright. Did you want to draw them?" She questioned, pointing at the bag I had brought with me which held my journal and pencil.

I nodded before finding a spot to sit and I began to draw. I sat there for a long time, drawing and drawing. I had hardly heard Luna when she told me she was leaving. I wasn't bothered being by myself though, I was hardly alone. Everyone wanted to comfort me, I just needed to be alone. 

As I brought my head up from my drawing to get another look at the Thestral, my vision was blocked by a pair of legs. My dopey eyes slowly trailed up the figure, only to meet the platinum blonde hair of Draco Malfoy.

"What do you want Malfoy?" I slurred slightly.

"There's a small get together tonight before easter break tomorrow, I got sent to get you. You've been out here for hours." He replied as he picked up my bag and took my book.

"Hey!" 

"These aren't half bad Pierce." He looked through my book.

"Thanks. Now give it here." I snapped as I snatched it from his grasp.