Silence Is His Favourite Song

Chapter 38

Max's pov

"What do you want? " I said blankly

They all looked at me with a mixture of relief and concern

"We want to talk Max, we've been so worried-"

I cut Jess off before she could continue

"There's nothing to talk about " I stated

"Max, come on. We've been trying to contact you for over a month, we were worried about you. Do you know how scared we were? " Roxy said with a hurt look which I returned with a blank stare

"Sure you were " I muttered and just as she was about to speak I raised a hand

"Since you want to talk so badly, we'll talk. But not here " I said before getting in my car and driving off to a fast food restaurant after sending my mom a text saying I'd be gone for a while to which she replied "be careful "

They followed me there in their cars and I walked inside and bought some fries for myself and some food for the others and tossed the bags to them earning me confused looks

"I'm assuming you're all hungry, so consider this a gift " I said quietly

Roxy opened her mouth to protest but I gave her a pointed look

"You need this the most " I said blankly, walking out and getting into my car

They got in their cars and followed me wordlessly

We got to the place that we once took Roxy when she was dealing with her sister's death

I waited until they were all seated and they all started eating

I lazily popped a fry into my mouth watching them

I looked at Roxy who wasn't eating much and was instead staring at me

"Eat " I encouraged

She sighed and after five minutes, they were all done eating and I was done with my fries

I laid on the grass for a while looking at the sky

"Pretty nice day isn't it? " I stated blankly

No one answered and I stood up and saw them all looking at me

"Since you won't answer, get to the point " I said with no emotion, putting my hands in my pockets

Veronica slowly walked up to me and looked me in the eyes, her green orbs pierced into my emotionless grey ones

She wrapped her arms around me hugging me tightly

I was merely wondering why she was hugging me but nonetheless I hugged her back, hearing her sniffle and after a couple minutes she pulled away and looked at me

"So what was that for? " I asked with an emotionless expression which seemed to shock her

"Dude, what's happened to you? " Shawn asked, eyebrows furrowed

"Yeah, before you were hiding your emotions but now it's like there are none left " Nicole said

I raised a brow at them

"We all thought you'd be mad at her or hurt " Luke pointed out what they all seemed to be thinking

I rolled my eyes and looked at Veronica

"I could never be mad at you angel " I stated

"But-"

"Yes, I know. You never loved me blah blah blah. There's nothing I can do about it so I have to live with it " I said

Jess stepped forward with tears glistening in her eyes

"Max are you okay? " she asked and the question momentarily took me off guard a bit but I didn't really have the energy to hold a grudge on anyone, I physically couldn't hold one against Veronica. My decision hadn't changed and I was going to follow through with my original plan: wait it out and disappear when the time is right

"Nope " I answered simply because that was the truth, I wasn't and would never be okay and nothing could change that

She sighed and hugged me tightly

I sighed and brushed off the tear that had rolled down her cheeks

She let go and I looked at the others who wore confused looks

I stretched out my arms and it took a second for them to all come crashing into me in a group hug

"So does this mean- "

I cut Luke off as we all separated

"Take it however you want, the pain hasn't gone away, it's gotten worse but that's not your fault. I'll deal with it. I'm not gonna cause you guys anymore pain than I can avoid.... "

I turned to Noah

"Take care of her Noah, don't hurt her or I'll kill you personally, she's been through more than enough pain from me " I said quietly

I turned to Veronica who was still confused

"I can literally hear the wheels in your head going into overdrive, relax. I'm happy for you angel, I still love you, that much will never change, I want you to be happy, with or without me, don't worry about anything. We're still friends right? "

She nodded smiling and hugged me again

I turned to Jess who was looking at me with an unreadable expression

"Don't worry about me Jess, I'll be fine " I said quietly and she gave me a small smile, relief evident on her face

I turned to Roxy who looked like she didn't believe a word I was saying

"Roxy, if I'm being honest, I wouldn't believe the words I'm saying if I could see myself a month ago but I realized that I'm hurting Veronica and you all too much to keep going that way, so I've decided to deal with it. My emotionless demeanor however is something that I can't and won't change. Even if I could do it I wouldn't, so that's one thing you'll have to get used to. But besides that, I'm fine "

"What about your decision? " she asked quietly

I sighed

"I won't give you false hope, all I can say is that I'm working on it " I said, the lie slipped out perfectly

She let out a small smile before hugging me

I sighed and hugged her back tightly

We let go and I looked at them

"Thanks for the concern but really, I'm fine. I'll be in school on Monday " I assured them and we all had another group hug before we all went home

I walked into my room and collapsed on my bed exhausted

Lying to them about being okay was getting easier and I just hoped they'd believe it

That way, things would be easier when the time came

I took some sleeping pills and after a few minutes, I was out like a light