Silence Is His Favourite Song

Chapter 27

Max's pov

The days went by like a blur, because all I did was drink, use the bathroom, buy more alcohol and stare at my ceiling. I hardly slept and whenever I did it would always be short because all my dreams were about Veronica leaving me and being with Noah, everyone hating me.

My stomach cried for food but I silenced it with endless bottles of alcohol.

I was fine

The text from my parents saying their trip was extended for business reasons just like all the other times didn't get any reaction from me
I simply replied with a "cool " and saw the bank alert of two million for whatever I may need

At this point, all I felt was this numbing feeling of nothingness which was blissful in the sense that it was better than the pain, I was free from the pain.

Well despite the panic attacks that came like everyday, especially the points when I slept or passed out. My PTSD was getting worse but I didn't care. Every time I slept I had a dream of her leaving, all the words she said replaying over and over. Noah's words as well, all of which would cause me to jolt up in bed and the panic attacks would simply take their course

I looked at my dead phone and wondered if anyone bothered to call after that text from Veronica. I shrugged and concluded that no one really cared anyway and took another swig from what I think was my 8th or 9th bottle of the day

My mind played back the memories from the first day I met Veronica till this very moment. By then I'd reached my 12th bottle and things started getting blurry but I wasn't concerned, the worst had already happened. I kept drinking until my eyes were too heavy to stay open

************

After what felt like a couple minutes, probably an hour, I woke up from another memory from that night and I started shaking and shivering and it got so hard to breathe, I tumbled to the floor and was choking out breaths. I didn't fight it, I succumbed to the darkness that was creeping up on me. I felt my heart clench violently and a tear rolled down my face

"I deserve this " I choked out as the darkness overtook me

I woke up several hours later and it must've been evening cuz the place was getting darker. I reached for the bottle of vodka and realized it was almost empty. After finishing it I left it on the floor with my other friends aka the previous bottles and I dragged myself to the fridge to get at least two dozen more bottles which I used to surround my bed and I quickly opened one and continued from where I left off.

*********

After what felt like several days I heard a knock on my front door. A banging actually, I ignored it in the hope that whoever it was would just go away

The person didn't.

I faintly recognized Roxy's voice among others and I groaned

Why couldn't they just move on like Veronica did?

As the thought crossed my mind, a tear rolled down my cheek and I took a huge swig from the bottle I held relishing the numbness it gave me

After a while the banging stopped and I was relieved until I saw three people enter my room and I realized that Roxy must've used the spare key to open the door

So there I am sitting up in bed with two bottles of vodka either side of me and staring at me from across the room were Shawn, Jess and Roxy with disappointment clear as day on their faces

I didn't say a word, I'm pretty sure the amount of words I had the energy to utter weren't much so I kept quiet

"Really Max? Alcohol? That's what you're doing now?! " Shawn raised his voice at my unresponsiveness