Silence Is His Favourite Song

Chapter 44

Max's pov

The next day I tried to explain things to Roxy but she wanted nothing to do with me. She kept avoiding me up until lunch.

During lunch, I made my way to a secluded area around the school and sat on the grass and looked at my hands.

I screwed up

I rolled up my sleeves and looked at the bandages on my wrists. I had cut again last night. I pulled them back over the bandages as I sighed.

I never wanted to hurt her

This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by cutting them off. I knew that what I wanted to do was gonna hurt them, her especially. Now she's avoiding me and I don't even know what to do. After school she got in her car and sped off without so much as a backward glance and I was miserable.

Days turned into weeks of avoiding me and after one of my attempts at talking to her she stopped coming to school.

The others gave me sympathetic looks...all except for Jess

She looked at me with resentment and I couldn't blame her.

She was right and I was stupid to think that it wouldn't hurt Roxy

I tried calling her but she never answered my calls, they kept ringing until it went to voice-mail.

At a point I even started going to her house but each time I went, her mom would tell me that she doesn't want to see me and I had to leave.

I texted her nonstop until finally I got three replies but my heart dropped when I read them

R: I don't blame you...

R: after all...

R: you're not the only one who wants to die...

She never replied after that despite the countless texts and calls I sent.

***************

After a month and a half, I had gotten my voice back but the euphoria of getting it back was overshadowed by the guilt I felt for hurting Roxy. She was my closest friend, the only one who knew everything about me and still accepted me. I was crushed that she didn't want to talk to me. I was very worried, because I knew what those thoughts can make you do.

On day during lunch I saw a note in my locker telling me to go to the back of the school. I was puzzled at first but when I saw that it was about Roxy I bolted out the school doors and headed to the back of the school.

Upon reaching there, I saw everyone waiting for me with grim looks on their faces, Jess was in tears. Shawn was holding her trying to console her. Veronica looked devastated in Noah's arms, silent tears running down her cheeks and in her eyes a look of...fear? Luke and Don looked frustrated and hurt as they held Nicole and Violet respectively who both had identical expressions of grief and pain.

I looked at them and silently cursed myself

These were my friends, yet....I keep causing them so much pain.

"This is all your fault! " Jess yelled when she saw me.

Shawn tried to calm her down but she wasn't having it

"If you hadn't been so fucking selfish,   none of this would have happened! If anything happens to my friend then I swear to God..." she burst into a fresh round of tears

I clenched my fist and looked down as the pain of her words sank in

She was right

Jess walked up to me and I raised my head.

Jess looked at me with so much anger, resentment and.....hate.

"If anything happens to Roxy because of you, I will never forgive you. This is all because of YOU! "

The sound of her hand connecting with my cheek came as a shock to everyone.

Jess slapped me

Even as tears rolled down her cheeks she slapped me again and again.

I stood there unmoving, as she took out all her anger on me. I took every slap because I knew she was right.

This was all my fault.

It wasn't until Shawn pulled Jess away from me that she stopped and cried into his shirt.

I deserved that and more. I knew Roxy was suicidal yet I still went ahead and tried to kill myself knowing fully well that it would trigger her. I'm such a fool.

Luke's quivering voice is what broke me out of my thoughts

"Veronica got a text from Chad..."

My heart stopped at that statement

"He told her to meet him whenever he sends his location. He said that you and Veronica should go alone. " Luke continued

My mind went back to that note I found in my locker a couple months ago

Better watch your back, she may not be yours anymore, but you're still not safe. No one takes what's mine and gets away with it. Your punishment will be much more severe, so better watch your back, and the backs of your so called friends.
No matter how beautiful sky blue is, at the end of the day, red will always be drained out of it.

"He said if you two don't show up or you call the cops or try anything..."

I slowly put the pieces together

Oh no...

"He'll kill Roxy... "

I froze as all the color drained from my face

"No... " I whispered as Jess let out a sob

I stared at Luke who looked back at me with tears in his eyes

"Roxy's been kidnapped "