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Whenever You Need Me, I'll Be There - Spencer Reid

You stared at your bedroom ceiling, lost in your thoughts. How much time had passed since you last moved? Minutes? Hours? You couldn't tell. Part of you didn't want to know. Time would ground you, bring you back to reality. And that's the last thing you wanted right now.

Neither option hurt less. Staying in your head was a break from reality, sure, but your own thoughts still hurt you. But being in reality was just another painful reminder of how alone you really were. You had Spencer, but you'd barely seen him recently. He was busy working, and you were proud of him for it. And you could never take him away from his own life, you weren't that important.

Finally, you mustered up what little energy you had left and zoned back into the world around you. The first thing you noticed was how dark it was. The sun had gone down. So you had been lying there for hours. A small part of you was grateful, the day was over and you could finally go back to sleep. Or at least attempt to. You hadn't slept well in weeks, but the few minutes you got here and there were enough relief to make you want to keep trying.

You slowly sat up and got out of bed, struggling to stand straight after lying down for so long. You made your way over to the mirror in the corner of your room, frowning when you saw your own reflection.

Your hair was matted, as you haven't taken care of it in a while. You couldn't remember the last time you showered or changed your clothes, and you were suddenly regretting looking in the mirror. The bags under your eyes were dark and deepest, making you look more dead than alive. You looked utterly disgusting, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

Sighing, you walked back over to your bed, sitting down on the edge of it, slowly feeling yourself zone out once more. You tried to keep your mind focused, hoping maybe you could eat today, or at least leave your room. But despite your efforts you couldn't find any energy left in your depleting soul.

~

Spencer hadn't seen you in a while, and he was beginning to get worried. You stopped showing up to his place for movie nights. You never answered his calls. He hasn't even seen you at all in 33 days. That definitely wasn't normal.

He picked up his phone and tried calling you once more, hoping that you would pick up. But as always the call went straight to voicemail. Spencer couldn't take it anymore, feeling far too worried. He grabbed the spare key to your apartment that you had given him, and headed over to your apartment.

One short subway ride later, he stood outside your apartment and knocked on the door, wanting to see if you would answer. As expected, you didn't. He slipped the key in the lock and pushed the door open, gasping slightly when he saw the state of your apartment.

There were takeout containers strewn about the living room, and the kitchen counters were covered with dishes. There was a thin layer of filth over the entire place, and there was still no sign of you.

~

"Y/n?" you heard a voice, which you figured out belonged to Spencer, call out.

You wanted to answer, but you just couldn't form the words. So you sat there, staring at your wall, hoping he would find you.

A few moments later, he did. Your door opened, and you saw Spencer standing in front of you. You couldn't think of what to say to him. What could you say? You disappeared from your best friend's life without so much as a goodbye. How could you explain this to him?

What you weren't expecting was for Spencer to hug you. He wrapped his arms around you, and held you tightly. This simple action alone brought you to tears, and you started sobbing into his shoulder.

You felt his grip only tighten around you, and you did your best to wrap your arms around him in return. You hadn't had human contact in so long, and you didn't realize just how much you needed it.