Moving schools

Baby or no baby

The next day i was at school we was sat on the field at lunch jamie didn't say anything to me like oh hi Ellie im sorry for showing you up last night no nothing my phone was ringing I got it out my bag it was Emma I show sarah my phone  I was not sure if to answer it but I did Sarah was watching me hi Emma Ellie listen please shit is going to hit the fan kelly is lying I don't have much time but im sorry I didn't know we just found out but Darren well you know what he's like he's sending it to everyone then she put the phone down.

Everyone's phone was going of it was a video of kelly telling her friend how she was making the baby thing up  she was hoping to get pregnant by sleeping with jamie she thought with her already pregnant in jamies head they wouldn't have to use a comdom but it wasn't working as jamie wont sleep with her to get her pregnant she was laughing at how easy it was for her to get jamie to break my heart and leave me because im a joke.

Jamie Jimmy and Sarah was screaming at kelly at this point if she had of been a bloke I think jamie would of killed her I just walked off and out of school I wanted to be anywhere but with jamie at that point, I don't even think they knew I had gone I was sat in the bushes at the back of park if you go all the way in they is loads of room with rocks to sit on not many people know about it  i put my phone on  aeroplane mode I think I was sat for hours crying she was right I am a joke a joke for getting mixed up with him how many times can he make me feel like this before  I say go to hell, hey you ok Emma came to sit next to me, thank you for the heads up she said of course darren was like a kid at Christmas he couldn't wait to hurt jamie but hurting jamie ment hurting you and I couldn't  do that, thanks em so how's it all going I told her everything she said jamie was just trying to do the right thing I laugh and say hang on are you really sticking up for the jamie smith, she laughs and says you can't help who you fall in love with.listen ellie im sorry i didn't have your back with all the jamie shit i should of, its ok em like you said you can't help who you fall for,  it was good to chat to Emma we wont ever be like we was but at least we don't hate each other at least she had my back this time.

I went home to find jamie on my doorstep Ellie im sorry we can be together now im free of that bitch, are you for real do you think it was going to be that easy its ok i can just go pick Ellie up now and play with her im not a fucking toy  go home and leave me alone I walk in my house and slam my door i was livid I wanted to hit something he must think im a joke why would I go running back to him i wanna break something I was ranting all night to anyone that would listen I'm not a fucking joke.

School wasn't much fun everyone was talking about it i didn't feel like I was the only girl in jamies eyes any more I told him we had our chance it was over it was how I was feeling im going back to my old plan school uni that's it but I still had the problem of will i ended things with him after I tried coming on to him a bit strong I think I was trying to prove I was over jamie i knew i was'nt when all I saw in my mind kissing will was jamies face I ended it and it went round I was a cock tease I saw will the next week he had been beat up I knew it was jamie but he wont say it was. 

A few weeks went by me and jamie was mates he doesn't like it but I do im not a joke to much has happened I just want a normal life I just didn't think it would be boring .

We was at a party with the boys I was drunk very drunk jamie was trying to get me home you don't love me any more yes I do shut up Ellie your drunk prove it then my arms was around his neck all he would say was come back when your not drunk i did try saying I was sober i did get one kiss but he pulled back we ended up at his gang house I was still all over the place he had his hands on me showing me to a bedroom I still got the tingles up my body show me  you still love me then I said again no your drunk I tried to kiss him Ellie please I can't you will hate me in the morning he put me in his bed and left.

The next morning I woke up I felt ok which is a miracle the amount I drunk all I knew was I wanted jamie last night I walk down stairs to them all sat around the table hey piss head hi guys jamie asked if I was feeling ok I nod and say can we talk he nods and gets up and takes me back up the stairs. Sorry about last night I say as I get on the bed I did wanna kiss you back and I do love you for the record I nod and say im not sure of much but I did want you in bed last night well any time your sober im all yours I smile nodding i will remember that .

Me and Sarah went shopping I opened up to her I told her I tried getting jamie in bed she was impressed he said no I was looking smoking hot last night I don't know why you to don't get back together give him a chance ellie he's head over heels in love with you im just not sure anymore she said why don't you just see both give it a month see how it goes what you got to lose.

We was all hanging out at the gang house jamie looked lost in thought about something I got up and went to sit with him hey you ok no not really work stuff shall we go talk he nods and walks out the room holding my hand he told me work was full-on he had problems everywhere he looked.

Jamie's pro 

How didn't I know, why did I just take her word for it and turn my back on the girl I love Jimmy said Ellie will come round she loves me Sarah on the other hand said I don't think she will this time I was starting to think Sarah was right  its been weeks the closes I got to her in that time i was holding her to get her home when she was drunk work was a nightmare but kept me busy I was selling and buying more doing a lot more deals I didn't wanna be at home i didnt wanna sleep as ellie was always on my mind and how i fucked up yet again. 

Ellie's pro 

The next day Jimmy wasn't really speaking to me or Sarah he was not his self when I did try asking him what was going on he said what do you care you walked away from jamie I shout back no he did the walking first we ended up having a slagging match in the school  hall way he said i was just letting my pride get in the way but im ok to be all over him wanting sex when it suits me but when he needs you you don't give a shit Sarah tried telling him to take a walk everyone was watching and videoing it Jimmy just walked of after that Sarah asked if I was ok and he didn't mean it, we went to sit on the field do you think what he said was true no of course not Sarah says shaking her head, i don't mind if you do i just want you to say it, ok fine well I think you still love him and could be happy I think your just worrying  to much but if jimmy had done all this shit to me I would be acting the same but you need to ask your self why every time your drunk its him you want?