The Assignment (18+)

The Vona POV

surprise :) <3 

Chapter 37

Asher

Piercing. That's the only word I can describe the pain in Lavender's scream as Vona held her hand and told her what happened. That's the only way I can describe the sound of her sobs as she shoved her face into the pillow, not believing what she's hearing. That's at least what it sounded like over facetime.

It's the way I can describe the feeling in my chest as I think about what Vienna's death would do to me. I hated her. I hated her for a long time, and now I can't think of a life with her gone. Love, I think. I think that's what love is supposed to feel like. It's heavy, and painful, and wonderful all at the same time.

Vienna's absence is a heavy weight in my chest. I don't know where she is. I don't know if she's okay. Vona assured me she will let me know when they are contacted by Rider, when they have a plan, when they have my girl back.

I punch the punching bag for the last time and watch as the chain strains against the bag as it swings. I have been working out my stress all night. Then I slept, and woke up again to start all over. I woke up in my room with nothing but empty sheets next to me. I walked outside to an empty hallway and a ghost of memories looking at my dead best friend's room.

I unwrap my hands and go to the water station. The lower ranks are here at least, I'm not completely alone. But no one knows. I don't have the patience to tell my life story on why I'm here and no one else is. No one dares to ask though. I see Kyle eyeing me, I see the questions burning through his mind. But I don't give a shit. Not anymore. Not when my best friend is dead and my girlfriend is still lost.

Back in my room I check my phone for the twentieth time. Vona said she will block me if I try calling her one more time, that she will let me know when they know. I drag myself through a shower and morning routine of brushing teeth and deodorant. I feel like a fucking zombie.

I can't stop wishing I could take back that night. I wish Vienna wouldn't have walked away so fast. I wish fucking Brielle didn't show up. I wish I didn't drink my jealousy away, maybe I would have been well enough to check outside first. I wish I didn't blame myself for something that wasn't in my control, yet I still do. I'll blame myself every hour Vienna isn't here with me.

It's too much. All too much. Geo's death, Vienna's impending safety, the guilt on my chest. I sit back down at my desk and take out another piece of paper. I didn't burn the letter from last night yet, may as well add another one.

Dear the cause of the pain in my heart,

I don't know where you are, but I hope you find your way out soon. I hope you give that fucker exactly what he deserves. I hope you get to pay him back for all they have probably done to you. I just wish I could see you. I only see your confused face full of pain that night you walked away. I wish I could tell you this brat on my chair means absolutely nothing to me, and you mean everything. We had only been 'official' for one day and I couldn't have been more proud to call you my girlfriend.. Even if I couldn't say it in front of everyone just yet. Because of that fucking job.

I miss your eyes. And the smell of your hair after a fresh shower. You don't know this, but I used to make sure I was the one picking up Tyler or Geo from your house late because I hoped I would catch you right out of the shower. You always smelled so good.

I am going to do some man-ly things now, like chop some wood or drink a beer.

Yeah, I'm definitely burning these letters.

~A

Vona

I don't know how to handle what's about to come next. Lia is standing in the corner of the room with her hands around herself. Lillian and Anna are holding each other as they wait for Lavender to wake up. The guys are outside, letting us have some privacy while I am the one to tell her the news.