The Only Bottom At Section Top | BxB (ONGOING)

Chapter 029: Photo

Adrian Evans' POV

Hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin maialis sa isipan ko yung pagyakap ni Trescious sa akin kanina. It's as if almost glued inside my mind and I can't find a way to unstick it.

That hug really lasted for a while and he waited for me until I stopped crying--I can even still feel his hands patting my head and caressing my back. Geez, Adrian, what is going with me?

Nararamdaman ko na namang umiinit ang buong mukha ko. God, am I blushing again? Tsk. Napahawak pa ako sa dibdib ko at ramdam ko pa ang sobrang lakas ng pagtibok ng puso ko. Sh*t. This is way getting out of hand.

I am so confused with what I am feeling right now. Bakit?

Bakit ngayon ko lang to naramdaman? Yung tipong mararamdaman mo pag may gusto ka sa isang tao, ito yung nangyayari sa akin ngayon.

Weird man pakinggan pero ramdam kong di ko na mapipigilan. Sadyang ang lakas lang niya talaga.

The more I think about Trescious comforting me, telling me that he would always be there for me and with those gentle voice of his, the more its hard for me to escape. At nakakalito lang dahil ganito din ang nararamdaman ko para kay Gomez.

Am I really liking boys now? At dalawa pa talaga on top of that? Silang dalawa ni Trescious at Audi. Sh*t. Why did everything just turned out this way?

Ang gusto ko lang naman ay mag-aral ng matiwasay sa Goodsman, be part of the scholarship program, escape my abusive and dark past from my parents,

Pero bakit naging ganito?

Bakit umabot ako sa puntong magkakagusto ako sa kapwa ko lalaki? Is this even right?

What will the people think of me pag malaman nilang ganito ang nararamdaman ko? Will they judge me? Will they make fun of me?

Hindi ko naman ramdam na bakla ako, but why do I feel so giddy whenever the two of them are around? Yung tipong sa kunting mga small sweet gestures lang nila, I felt as if lightning struck inside my body. Or if its the perfect way to describe that.

I still hate lightnights and thunderstorms, otherwise.

Pero, pati yung puso ko di ko na makontrola ngayon. Para na siyang sasabog kakaisip kung anong pwede kong mairason bakit nakakaramdam ako ng ganito.

Pero kahit anong rason na pilit ko pang gawin, it all leads to one answer. I am feeling the emotion of 'love', 'like', 'admiration' and 'inspiration'. I guess that's four, huh?

Or is it? Urgh! Kakasakit sa ulo, kaasar! Bahala na nga.

Sabi ko naman na kung ano pa tong klaseng pakiramdam ang meron ako ngayon, I will gladly accept and welcome it. Di ko na kailangan litohin pa ang sarili ko.

The answers are all within my reach in front of me, why do I still bother confusing myself and denying it?

Nakakabakla man pakinggan, pero oo gusto ko ngayon ay 'lalaki'. Don't judge me, I just don't want to hide this freaking emotions to make myself be confused more. May exam pa bukas kaya ayaw ko nang magdagdag sa iisipin ko.

So what it is naman kung nagkakagusto na ako sa lalaki ngayon? It won't make myself less as a human.

Di ako bakla and yes I'm one heck straight guy but for my defense there's nothing wrong with liking someone with the same gender. Love is love. Or I don't even know if it really is love. But this feeling of mine is selfless and judging me won't make me stop my heart.

For now, the only thing I need to is not being bothered by any of it. I'll just live the moment as I'm feeling this. Baka bukas o sa makalawa mawawala din ito ng kusa. Kaya sa ngayon na nararamdaman ko pa to, then let it stay.