Never Let Go

Chapter 29: Tree Of Life

"You've been quiet in the last couple of sessions, Maya, more quiet than usual." Anne pauses and studies my body language.

I stare at my hands and stay quiet.

"What's on your mind?"

Michael.

"Has something bad happened?"

"No."

She breifly looks down at her notes and then her curious eyes fix back on to me.

"Has something happened with Michael?"

I make a face and avoid looking at her.

"What makes you say that?"

"You haven't mentioned him recently. Are you still seeing each other?"

"Yeah, sometimes."

"What kind of things do you do together?"

"We just hang out." I shrug.

She nods and the room falls silent again. I lick my lips and play with my fingers anxiously.

"We... kissed."

"You kissed?"

I nod and look at her breifly before looking at my hands again.

"How did that make you feel?"

"Amazing, but then I freaked out."

"Why?"

"Because... it shouldn't have happened."

She lowers her eyebrows.

"You said you felt amazing. Have you ever felt that way, or experienced those kind of feelings with a man before?"

"Never."

"Maybe those feelings overwhelmed you and that's why you freaked out? Those feelings are new to you and it made you feel good. Feeling good is what scared you."

I sigh quietly and look down at the floor.

"You deserve to feel good, Maya, and you deserve happiness. You are worthy of that. You shouldn't feel ashamed, guilty, or-"

"But Michael and I are just friends."

"It sounds like you both like each other more than that, though, am I right?"

I tuck my hair behind my ear and jog my leg.

"He invited me to spend Christmas day with him and his family."

"Oh." She smiles. "That's nice of him."

"I'm not sure if I'll go."

"Why?"

"Christmas is all about love and family." I make a face. "And I haven't celebrated it since my twin brother died."

She frowns and nods slowly.

"Christmas time must be hard for you. You must feel more lonely at this time of year?"

I shrug one shoulder.

"But, this year you don't have to be alone. Celebrating Christmas would be a big step forward for you. Do you want to spend it with Michael?"

"I don't care about Christmas." I shake my head.

"Ok, but that didn't answer my question. You might not like Christmas because of personal reasons, and I understand that the holiday season can make you feel worse, but would you like to spend it with Michael?"

"I don't know... maybe."

"I really think it would be good for you to do that, Maya. The holidays remind you of your family, and being with him and his family would probably take your mind off that."