Stronger Together (LokixReader)

Isolation

Trigger warning: talks slightly about depression

Y/N POV

It has been 2 days since I found out I was adopted. I have not left my bed since I came into my room after finding out. I used my powers to make sure no one was able to enter my room because I just could not handle talking with anyone right now. 

I have not eaten anything which is worrying the team immensely. I feel so guilty that I am not beside Loki right now, but I physically and mentally cannot get up. For most of my life, I keep my depression and PTSD at bay, but when I lose control such as this past week it completely takes over. 

Bucky and the entire team have tried to get into my room for the past 2 days. It is late afternoon of the third day and I am just lying in my bed when I hear a voice I have been dreaming about since I woke up from the mission 3 days ago.

"Darling, can you please let me in," I hear Loki say. 

I hear murmuring outside of my room before I hear Bucky say, "Alright that's it, Y/N we are coming in!" I stop using my powers to barricade my door, now knowing that Loki is there. He and Steve break down the door to my room and the entire team enters. The team gasps when they see the mess my room is in, there is glass and books everywhere and I am in the middle of my bed with my back turned to them. 

Loki runs over to me and moves some hair out of my face while looking over my body to make sure I have not tried anything. "Hey, I'm here it's ok," he says. 

He lays down on the bed looking into my eyes which are very lacking emotion. I have tried to numb it all out as I do in depression because I know if I let myself cry I may not stop.

 Loki must know what I am doing because he looks me in the eyes while the whole team is looking around my room and says, "It's ok to let it out," Once he says that to me, I can feel my walls break down and I begin to think about all I had endured the past week. 

My nightmares, Loki almost dying, a new enemy, being adopted and not knowing; I think about it all and just cry into his arms. I hate being vulnerable so this felt unknown to me but it felt safe at the same time. I briefly notice the rest of the team leaving my room knowing I would want some privacy. 

After 10 minutes of crying, I start to calm down as I tell Loki everything. 

When I am finished telling him everything he just sits next to me before saying, "Well on the bright side I believe you just beat me with the sad backstory." I laugh for the first time in 4 days and wipe the remaining tears from my face. I have a quick shower in which Loki waits outside of my room for me. I just finished getting changed when Loki suggests, "How would you feel about going downstairs and having some pancakes," It is no secret that I have lost a noticeable amount of weight this past week so I faintly nod. 

Loki helps me down to the kitchen and I sit on the couch in the living room as he makes me some food. Bucky and Steve are there knowing I would come down sooner or later. 

When they see me in the living room Bucky runs over to me and gives me a gentle hug and sits down next to me followed by Steve. "Y/N I am so sorry, I should have told you when I found out," Bucky says to me. 

I have already forgiven him which I tell him and we continue to just talk quietly until Loki joins us on the couch and sits on the other side of me with his arm around my shoulder as I eat some food. When I am finished with my meal we head upstairs and go into Loki's room to have a nap. I fell asleep in Loki's arms and I can feel myself starting to go back to normal.

Loki POV

I wake up to an annoying beeping sound and bright lights. As I open my eyes I find Thor is sleeping next to my bed. He wakes up soon after as he hears me try to get out of bed to find Y/N. "Brother calm down, you should be resting you have been out for 3 days." He tells me as I begin to remember the mission and how I pushed Y/N out of the way as I got stabbed in the chest. 

Considering I am alive I know she must have healed me. "Where is she?" I ask. When he doesn't meet my eyes I start to think the worse, "No, that's impossible," I tell myself.

"Brother she is alright, well physically at least, she is in her room you should probably go see her," he tells me. The rest of the team comes into my room and tells me about how she hasn't left her room in 2 days and how they are all immensely worried about her. 

The team is asking why she is so isolated until Bucky and I respond at the same time saying, "She has depression and PTSD," The team is shocked because she usually is always the upbeat person on the team that keeps everyone happy.

We all head up to Her and I's floor and I knock on the door asking for her to let me in. When we hear no response we make a plan, "We need to get in there, I don't how she is doing but I need to know how bad this is," I say as everyone agrees.

Bucky says, "Alright that's it, Y/N we are coming in," as he and I bang down the door. When we get into her room we are all shocked. She is always so clean and organized so seeing this makes us all aware of how bad she must be feeling right now. 

I see her on the bed and run over to see her face and check her body to make sure she hasn't done anything. I see her blank face which scares me until I urge her to let it out. She finally does and she just starts to cry in my arms. The team is shocked but they leave the room knowing we need privacy. After 10 minutes she calms down and then tells me about what happened on the mission and how she is actually adopted and her brother told her when she woke up.

I think about what to say and then come up with an idea to break the tension and I say how "Well on the bright side I believe you just beat me with the sad backstory." She laughs with me which makes me relieved. 

After she has a short shower I help her down to the living room as I go to the kitchen to make her some pancakes. I hear her talking with Bucky and Steve which makes me happy, knowing she is talking somewhat normally. When she finished the pancakes and some fruit we head up to my room to nap. 

Because we both are exhausted physically and mentally from this past week she quickly falls asleep in my arms. I can't help but feel relieved that she is starting to feel like herself again. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having struggled with depression I know it isn't easy so if you are struggling please reach out even though I know that can be very hard.