Pure Pain, Excruciating Love

Chapter 24

Stepping into the flat, Ashton locked the door behind us and then made his way inside. He stopped just as he was about to enter his room, turning in his spot to face me.

"You don't have to stay there. You live here now Sam, so come on."

He held his hand out for me, and nervously, gulping and breathing in steadily, I took the few steps that got me to his side. Placing my hand in his, he smiled and led us into his room.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom and change, okay?"

I nodded as he retrieved his sweatpants and a t-shirt from his drawers. Sending me a smile, he entered the bathroom and soon I heard water running.

I was hyperventilating. I couldn't stay still. Walking in front the bed from side to side, I kept thinking of reasons to why this seemed like abad idea. How could we possibly live together? It's too soon. It'd be weird. What did I get myself into? What if this causes us to break up? What if it gets too uncomfortable and weird? Oh God!

"You need to relax."

I jumped at the intrusion and my head snapped to the direction of the bathroom. Ashton stood against the door frame, his arms folded, a faint smile on his face. Slowly, he made his way to me, taking hold of my hands as he stood in front of me.

"What's wrong Sam?" His voice was soft and tender, but I did detect the slightest of his nerves.

"I-I don't know," I mumbled, letting out a tired breath.

"Is it about your move-in?"

Looking into his hazel eyes, I noticed how unsure and nervous he was. Maybe it's not only me who's pondering on this.

"Um...yeah..kind of," I murmur, sighing.

"What is it?"

I take in a deep breath and let go of his hands as I sit on his bed, tired. Ashton stays standing in front of me, opting to crouch in his place so I'd be able to stare into his mesmerizing hazel orbs.

"This is new for me. I don't know how to feel about this," I tell him honestly.

"Do you regret agreeing?" Ashton asks, his hands on my knees.

Shaking my head quickly I explain further, "No. It's just that..it's...I don't want this to ruin our relationship."

I say the last part with vulnerability, my eyes casting down to my lap.

"Hey, how would it ruin us?" Ashton's voice is tender, almost like he's speaking with a child. His hand squeezes my knee in a reassuring way.

"I don't know. Won't it be weird? In just a few months, we've moved in together. What if it becomes weird for us?"

Ashton smiles his reassuring smile and sighs. "Sam, you're letting your doubts and thoughts consume you." He places one hand on top of my own, his thumb stroking my skin. "We've stayed at my mom's house in my room for a week or two. I feel comfortable and happy when you're with me. I know it'll feel weird for us to constantly have one another around. But this is now your place as well, and I am so happy it's you I get to share it with. If you're not happy with it in the next coming days then it's no problem. My mom would love to have you stay with her for as long as you need."

What can I say to this sweet boy? This sweet, caring, beautiful guy who so happened to be my boyfriend. No one else's. Just mine. The thing is, I too feel comfortable and happy when he's around, by my side. Right now, during such a hard stage in time, I need him more than ever, more then anyone.