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My Thoughts That Flow (Review Thirty-Three)

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My Thoughts That Flow
By: startinganewjourney

Reviewer: MiniMoxx

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Cover/Title: 8/10

The title is good, intriguing. The cover is nice but the colour a little hard to read on both the title and the subtitle and the strip at the bottom.

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Blurb: 5/10

I'm finding it hard to really criticise this and suggest things because it's a poetry collection so what do you really put as a blurb? But equally, it doesn't really hook me as a blurb if you know what I mean? I would still read it. Maybe you could find a common theme(s) running through and write something about it on the blurb?
With things like 'constructive criticism welcome' and the credit for the PREVIOUS cover I would take those out and maybe put them in an author's note as it makes it look a bit crowded.

Poems: (I havent scored this out of 10 because thats hard to with poetry LMAO) But I'll give my thoughts on each poem I read. I'll also mention any grammar etc here)

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People:

- One thing I noticed: 'on things of which, they aren't even aware' sounds a little awkward. I'd consider: "On things they don't know about" or something similar.
'Those walls of lie appear' < do you mean 'lies' here?

- Overall, I really like this poem. I like that difference in beat on that last line. It makes it stand out really well.
I'm not sure what the 'beautiful eyes' is doing there though? I reread it and tried to understand if it was part of the poem or not? If it's part of the author's note I would just detach it a little more from the main body ❤️  (I then realised reading forward it's probably the authors note, haha)

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Darkness:

- 'I see in distance' - you want 'I see in *the distance'
I love the repetition of 'oh' with the actions. Really work well!
I think the poem as a whole looks long. I think it could be split, potentially at 'happiness' line? Usually length doesnt bother me with poetry but to look at physically I think it could be too long.
The imagery in this poem is lovely.

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Life:

- This first stanza is just beautiful. Powerful as well.
The 'didnt know' starting of the lines, I'm not sure it quite makes sense. I see what you're going for, but maybe putting some context there would help? Maybe an idea is:
"My soul (or I, you whatever you want can go there)
Dont know...
Dont know..."
Just a suggestion!
'Breaking of hearts' 'shattering of dreams' - just missing 'the' in front of them both
'Lived I' doesnt quite make sense to me.
It's a really beautiful poem and the style is lovely.

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Satiety:

- I dont really have any suggestions for this one. Everything is lovely about it. The vocab is varied and amazing, the imagery fantastic. Really well done.

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Hope:

- 'Pushes me in dark hole' < you want [a] or [the] before dark hole here
This is probably my favourite poem so far. It's relatable, it's imagery is well done. The words are lovely.
I dont know if you did this on purpose but you have the first and last words of the first and last stanza rhyming, but not the middle. Not a criticism but something I wasnt sure whether was done on purpose or a slight mistake etc?

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Overall: A really lovely and well written poetry collection. I dont have much criticism other than the minor things I picked up above. Your use of style as well as vocab and imagery are all wonderful. You manage to get some relatable topics in and make them sound so rich in description in such few words! Well done ❤️

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