All Rounders Review Shop (CLOSED)

The Thing About Forever (Review Ten)

Remember that the point of this review is to guide you to improvement. If you have any questions, do not before afraid to talk to your reviewer or to @ericson119. We are here to help you, not review your book and simply move on to the next one.

The Thing About Forever
By: AnanyaSreen909

Reviewer: AOFunke

Cover/title: 6/10

I'm gonna split this so we have cover and title differently.

- First, your title is bam! Hits right in the heart. Not too informative, not inadequately informative. Makes me wanna see what's in the book. I also like that it goes with the blurb. It's like you're passing a message across. Your lead character didn't get have her forever the way she wanted. Where she wanted it. it was changed. It's lovely really. It make some want to flip the page and see what's gonna happen in the story.

So, yay! In that aspect, you got a four out of five. *Throws chocolate*

- Second, your cover. . .

I don't know, it seems too hidden for me. It's like there's something there that needs to come out. Let that beautiful story shine through your cover. I think the cover maker just slapped on some words on a picture there *pouts* needs more soul.

Thus, since I felt inspired by your title, I might have gone ahead to make a couple of covers (hehehe). Pm me so you can have a look.

-

Blurb: 7/10

- Love the intro. It's wham! (That's a good thing)

*Gives you chocolate*

At the point where I viewed your blurb, I hadn't read your book yet, so this review is based on that first impression.

I get a teenfic/Young adult vibe from this. It goes well with the title, it's so short and portable, yet passes a message across. . .

So why? WHY did I deduct THREE points??????

(That's terrible punctuation right there btw, I'm just feeling very bubbly today)

The reason is. . .

*🥁 🥁 🥁*

Grammar and punctuation, sis!

*Throws confetti*

Let's have a look shall we. (I'll be using quotes from the blurb to show you)

"Malibu Beaches, Rodeo Drive, Hollywood Boulevard."

Unless those capitalzed words are proper nouns, I think that should be

"Malibu beaches, Rodeo Drive, Hollywood boulevard."

Also, the full stop between "boulevard" and "this" should be a colon (:)

*Gives you another chocolate*

In the second paragraph, I think there should be a comma between "be" and "with".

And the third paragraph should be something like:

"As Sierra navigates through her changing world, she feels like her life is getting back on track. But for how long before she realizes that another change, another world, awaits her?"

🍫🍫🍫🍫

-

First chapter: 5/10