IF YOU WERENT HERE- Wilbur X Reader

24

A/N: IT HAS CAME TO MY ATTENTION THAT WILBURS EYES ARE BROWN SORRY FOR MY MISTAKE AND IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN I CHANGED THE FALSE LEADS AND THEY ARE NOW CORRECT. ALSO, THERE MAY BE SPELLING ERRORS DUE TO THE FACT I NEED TO POST MORE OFTEN, SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!

THE PHOTO IS THE OUTFIT I IMAGE SHE IS WEARING.

Y/N POV:

will didn't know about my and clay's meet up but he didn't really need to know. i told him i would try this relishinship thing and try not to be all uptight but it was harder than i thought, opening up and being honest, not going to lie half the time i was insecure because i would see all of his ex's and think how they were so gorgeous and i don't look anything like them. 

it was a confidence killer.

it was like i stepped into a pond and im drowning in the small end. it was a sinking feeling which i never felt in a real ship it was like i felt not enough. 

and it sucked.

but he didn't know any of this. and i guess you would say this is why it was hard for me to open up, i wasn't saying everything, only the things he wanted to hear.

its been a few weeks since that chat in the bathroom and me and clay haven't met up yet, but the date was arriving, this whole non-lable thing with will was getting confusing and old real quick.

"so what movie?" will said turning the tv on with his bowl of popcorn in his lap his arm draped over my shoulder cuddling me close, my head was down looking at my phone scrolling through insta comparing myself to all the beautiful girls will have mentioned. it was getting too much and i wanted to stop but my brain was saying something but my fingers kept scrolling.

i was too zoomed out to respond.

"y/n?" will asked turning to me and looking at my face that was welding up with tears.

"y/n? what wrong?" he said putting the popcorn on the coffee table and laying the remote down. 

"nothing." my voice broke, i could feel the tears burn at the edges i couldn't cry over something this stupid. 

"y/n look at me," he said with a sympathetic tone but sturn. 

i look up to be greeted with his brown eyes and his small frown, "what wrong?" he said hoping almost praying to get an official answer. 

"Why?" was all i could make out, the only thing i could say.

"why what?" he asked once again with the questions.

"choose me?" i said simply looking up and to his eyes, with the most sympathetic look, this was the craziest feeling, the feeling of insecurity and jealousy kinda mixed weirdly.

"what?" he asked, did he not get the hint.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME WHEN YOU COULD CHOOSE ANYONE ELESE? ME OF ALL PEOPLE? ME?" i yelled standing and letting the tears finally drop. 

"because y/n, there is just reasons," he said plainly standing up to grab me.

"tell me. Why?" i said in a small tone.

"really want to know?" he said crossing the arms i called beanstalks.

"Please," i said preparing for the worst.

"you are the most generous person in this world you have been hurt many times and been screwed over and you still lived the best out of your life you gave me so many chances when i screwed them all up, you forgave anyone no matter the consequences you treat Tommy like one of your own and you seem like a great mother. you have the best positivity and when I'm down in a slump you bring me the most joy i have ever experienced. you are like a fucking rollercoaster but all the parts are the best moment in that ride. you make me feel like I'm floating in the air. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me." he ranted and i opened my mouth to respond but he continued.

"and those other girls? they didn't compare to you, they made me feel, yes. but with them it was the worst rollercoaster i rode, you make it feel like a fucking theme park, while the others don't even have the personality of you, you are so pretty that all my friends laugh at how i got so lucky, you are the most beautiful person i ever laid eyes on." he finally finished.

all i could say

"Even the queen?"

"Even the queen." 

my smile grew and then the worries just faded and this reship wasn't so bad after all.

shit. i have to meet up with clay. didn't really mention that.

"Hey someone texted you." 

"why the fuck is clay telling you a time and place?"