IF YOU WERENT HERE- Wilbur X Reader

17

TW: DEATH, PASSING OUT, CUSSING, PANIC ATTACK 

MUST-READ: I AM NOT A PRO AT HOW TO DEAL WITH PANIC ATTACKS OR SOMEONE WHO CANT BREATHE SO IM SORRY IF THIS IS WRONG.

Wilbur's pov:

she was crumbling and I could see it. even though she didn't want others to see. I knew at that point she was broken and I had a feeling no one could fix her not even me. but I still really want to try. i really want to fucking try. 

*10 mins later*

"is she up in Wilbur's room?" nick asks the question directed at Karl. "yea i assume so, we should give them space," Karl says standing and walking to the kitchen to grab a drink.

Karls pov:

"so who wants a coke i know you tomm-" i start to speak but I get interrupted by the door, I swear if clay came back to get y/n i will go nuts. i start to walk over putting the drinks on the coffee table. i open the door to be greeted by a warm smile and damp eyes.

"hey Karl, where y/n? i wanna see her?" Sally says handing the box that was filled with cookies to me.

"oh hey, sally. um." I start to speak but Tommy stands up and takes sally to the room over, "let me talk to her please Karl, I know. we know." Tommy says looking at me hoping for some type of consent. i nod letting him take her to the dining room and closing the door. all we hear are small crys and converting words. 

"Should we go home?" I ask looking at all the other members. 

"no, we need to be here. for y/n"

y/n pov:

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I sob into my hands while I sit there in Wilbur's bed. my heart was crumbling and breaking, I could feel my tears burn my face. they were staining my face leaving red marks.

"y/n it isn't your fault I need you to breath." will say sitting across from me.

"I can't, I can't breath." I could feel myself start to gasp for air, I could feel my airways closing up, and all I could do was gasp and try to fill them. but it wasn't working.

"y/n. breath" will grab me as lay on him as he hugs me from behind. "breath like this." he starts to breathe in and out and I wanted to follow but I couldn't for some reason my brain wouldn't let me. " will- i cannn-t" is all I could say as I gasp at every word. he could feel myself going limp I'm gonna pass out, he flips me around the where I was staring at him and my eyes were starting to fall and go black that's when I could feel my shirt and pants coming off, and my already tight belt was losing it felt like I was a bird and I was letting go out of a cage. 

"y/n can you hear me?" I could hear him but I still couldn't breathe it was like I was breathing but only enough for myself to not die, it was like I was gonna fall into a deep sleep, "y/n look at me." I could hear him say calmly. i open my eyes just enough to look at him, "follow me. okay." I couldn't speak anymore it was like I was trying to preserve my air. so I nodded. "in" he breathed a big breath in "out" and he breathed it out, I could feel the breath against my face, I couldn't do it, I could but it was like a rock was in front of it. in front of my airways, "y/n, breath. breath please." I could see his worry his scariness i could see every part of him the protectiveness the worry I could see, his wall down, I wanted to breathe but I couldn't so I just did what I do best and I fall limp. closing my eyes and drifting into the blackness of the void. the last thing I hear is "y/n no, breath please." and I could think was, maybe this was for the best, I should leave I should go I'm not any help for anyone I'm just a burden. to not only to clay but to Wilbur. so why not. just let go. and that's when I see the light. the bright white light. that I had been waiting for and I am gonna touch it. t was so white burning white and it was it, it was time.