Do You Know Who You Are? (l.s.)

42

Harry Styles

Louis, Louis, Louis. What a lucky man I am. Look at you, all peaceful and beautiful. I can’t stop looking at you and honestly I don’t want to. How can we get so addicted to someone? I don’t think anyone can be ready for this type of event in their life. It just happens, you meet someone and then all your world turns around them and I’m so grateful Louis chose to take part in mine. I love him, yes, and I want to live moments like right now for the rest of my life. 

I can almost feel his heartbeat against my thigh as he is laying on my lap. The headboard of the bed is slightly hurting my back but I don’t wanna move, he has his upper body pressed against my belly and I’ve never seen him so calm and relaxed. I’m happy, happy he feels better, safe and more confident. We both discovered love together and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. I think we both were scared of the importance relationships could have, and we had our own way to deal with this fear. 

He closed himself to the world and I opened myself too much. He stayed alone and I stayed with different people every night. No deep feelings for any of us until we met each other and didn’t have any other option than deal with it, grow stronger from it and fall in love. And I know that, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t know how bad I was at dealing with feelings before. I stayed in my comfort zone, with my habits, my house, my job and the life I built. I built it when I was really young and was determined to keep it until the day I die, but now, as I lay on my bed with the most precious thing I will ever find, I just want to live. 

I want to let the hazard of life take control and I understand that it’s important, yes it’s important to not control everything, I didn’t control the day I met Louis and that’s why I’m so happy today. So, yeah, maybe the life I was planning isn’t the one I want and enjoy. 

I look down at Louis and hear his sleepy breath, it’s so slow and it sounds like a melody to my ears. Maybe his head is close enough to my heart to hear it beat? I would love that. The regular sound of my heart would be what leads him in his sleep and he could hear the things my words can’t explain. He is warm against my belly and I want to tell him how my life has changed thanks to him, how he became my oxygen and how we are going to go through this shit together. But in a whisper I sum up my ideas with three simple words that could cure anything. 

“I love you.” 

And that’s all. I go back to my previous thoughts and daydreaming state as I slowly stroke his soft h- 

My phone’s ringtone suddenly breaks the delicious atmosphere we developed in the room and I don’t want Louis to wake up. “Shit.” With a not-so-smooth movement I slide out of the bed and hold Louis’ head with my hands to place it slowly on the bed where I was previously seated. For fuck’s sake, what is wrong with the universe! Can’t give me an instant to enjoy myself. 

I grab my phone from the bed next to Louis and walk out of the room to not be noisier than I’ve already been. Good job Harry, you drain all the poor boy’s energy out and don’t let him have some peaceful rest after that. Great. I close the door and finally look at Liam’s name on the phone. 

“Liam? What’s up?”

“Hey Harry, I hope I don’t interrupt anything…” No… Not at all… Not the best time I had in a long time. “I was in the car with Zayn earlier and I thought of something.” 

My phone isn’t the best one but I can hear quiet noises behind his voice and I don’t think about what he just told me before interrupting him. “Wait Liam, are you driving?” 

“Yeah I am, but wait it won’t be long, I just need to know one thing.”

“Ok but be careful Liam… What is it?”