Do You Know Who You Are? (l.s.)

12

Louis Tomlinson

"Am I dead?"

"No, Louis, not yet."

"I can't move, Sarah? Why can't I move?"

"You're broken. Don't worry, it will be alright."

"I'm sorry mate," The voice is deep and isn't Sarah's, who is this?

"Sarah? What was that?"

"It's Liam."

"I was selfish, I-" No Liam what are you saying? Where are you? Why can't I see anything?

"Calm down Louis, listen carefully, he is trying to talk to you."

I stop wondering and listen to him, I can't see him but his words are painful, if only I could take him in my arms.

"I should have made sure you were ok, please, I hope you'll give me your pardon someday. I am so sorry Louis, please come back now, don't give up. Not like this."

"Sarah? What is he talking about?"

"Oh Louis. You went too far this time, it was too much for your heart."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Life gives you control on this choice, you can join me or join Liam." Wow. I can join her?

"Sarah I miss you."

"No Louis, you have to let me go. Please, fight. Liam is right, don't give up. He needs you."

"But I deserve this and no he doesn't. He needs me to get out of his life, nothing else, that's all my fault."

"Wake up Louis, please" I can hear him cry but staying with him is worse than leaving. It will hurt but he'll move on, if I stay next to him it will just happen again and again.

"Louis! Louis! No! Leave me!" The darkness I see becomes more and more lightful and colourful. "I need you to keep fighting! I need you to keep living!"

"Please Louis! I need my brother."

"Go Louis, forget me, go."

"He can't lose you"

"Go."

"For Him."

"For Phil."

"For your Mom."

"For Harry."

I wake up.

The blue room is peaceful and bright, the light comes from the window on my left. It's a typical hospital room like Liam is used to see but this time I'm in the bed and he isn't here to treat me. He is just here, seated next to me, with his head between his hands and hoping I wake up.

He doesn't know I'm awake yet, maybe I should wait for him to get out of the room and leave, he won't see me again and that's better for him. I don't know what to do, I've never been so confused. My panic attacks often bring me health issues, that's why I'm used to seeing a Doctor but I never ended up in Hospital because of them. That's a first.

I don't know who cursed Liam but he crossed my path and now he pays the price. First Julia and now Phil? Plus he must be really worried about me, Sarah was right I can't die, it would break him. Ok he is strong and knows how to move on but I think we all have limits. I can't leave him without explaining myself or at least thanking him, he did so much for me lately, for example I'm sure he didn't sleep since I'm here, he would feel bad for leaving me.