Söbriety • Mötley Crüe •

62. Fix

"She's okay. She got stitches, but she's fine. She went to bed, she didn't feel like talking much."

"I wouldn't either if someone tried to murder me for the second time." He looks down at Riley, giving her sleeping body a genuine smile of admiration. He gently shakes her arm and she jolts awake in fear, toppling to the floor.

"Shit." She groans, getting her bearings on her surroundings. "Is Ryan okay? Is she home?"

"Yeah, she went upstairs to go to sleep." She nods as she lifts herself back onto the couch, both of them yawning simultaneously.

"So, what happened?" Riley rubs her eyes with the back of her hands.

"I don't really know that much. Kelsey's brother that died in Vancouver, his wife came to fuck with Ryan. She tried to stab her, but it's just a big gash. I guess Ryan moved just in time for the blade to slide instead of stab." I make hand motions to match my words.

"Did she get arrested?" Tommy's eyes are wide in disbelief.

"Yeah, the cops hauled her off when they got there. I haven't heard anything since, though. Ryan's supposed to go to the police station to give a statement later this morning."

"Are you okay?" I stare at Riley for a moment, not quite sure how to answer her question. "It's okay to be frustrated with all of it." She gives me a weak half smile.

"I'm very frustrated with all of it." I plop onto the couch next to them with a sigh. "It's just always fucking something, you know? When is it gonna end?"

"I can imagine it's hard to deal with always wondering what's next." She nods in understanding, guilt rising up out of my gut at how angry I am at Ryan.

"It really is hard. All the fuckin' drama and the never ending fucking letters from her ex. I don't think she's ever gonna leave Ryan alone. She's always gonna be apart of our lives and I'm just-" I sigh as I shake my head. "I feel like such a dick for feeling this way but I'm just fucking over it, you know? I don't want to deal with it anymore."

Tommy's hand pats my shoulder as Riley gives me a sympathetic look, both of them staying silent, because there's no words to make me feel better right now.

Do I really want to deal with this forever?

Ryan's POV

My eyes fill with hot tears as I stand around the corner of the top of the stairs, Nikki's words replaying in my ears.

"I don't want to deal with it anymore."

Neither do I, Nikki.
Neither. Do. I.

I have to fix this somehow, or I'm going to lose him.

-

"Babe. Wake up. You need to take your antibiotics." Nikki jostles my arm and I groan.

"What is it?" My voice comes out as a hoarse whisper and I look around the room, the clock reading 11 AM.

"You need to take your antibiotics. Tommy made pancakes. Get up and get dressed. Your daughter has been screaming 'momma' for the past two hours and she's about to come unhinged." He gives me a half smile, a look of guilt covering his features. Maybe he feels bad for all the things he said behind my back last night.

He barely touched me last night when normally I can't get the mother fucker off of me while I'm asleep. It could be that he didn't want to hurt me, but I know deep down it's because he's harboring some pretty big resentments toward me right now. He always has, really. There hasn't been a moment of our relationship that Kelsey hasn't loomed in the background, even if we weren't exactly aware of it at the time.