Hsmtmts oneshots✔️

~ 40.1

Tw: Mention of suicide, Depression and Self-harm

"Life will drag you down so much that sometimes not even the strongest people make it out alive" Ricky said to break the silence.

"What are you talking about? This is way to sad for a date." Nini said as a result, she also took his hand and kissed his knuckles. He shrug his shoulders "It's just something I thought of a few days ago. People always tell you you're strong and that it'll get better, why do people commit suicide then." 

She pushed his sleeve up his arm to reveal his scars. Her small fingers moved over all of them "I know you don't believe me, but you're strong Ricky. You survived what you've been through and now you're sitting here a few days away from starting a new life with me in New York." He sighed "I guess."

She pushed the sleeve back down "Come on we still have to pack." The brunette had already jumped up and held out her hand for him to take. Ricky chuckled and stood up.

-

Two months have passed since the couple moved to New York to attend college together and well things did not go as planned. Right before they left Nini's grandmother had died, which caused her to lose herself a bit more every day.

Obviously, Ricky was worried and would never leave her alone, which just annoyed her. "Ricky I'm fine" The brunette whined. He just shook his head though. "I'm really fine, just a bit sad that my grandma died."

The reason he would not leave her alone is because he knew what could happen if he did and he didn't want Nini to go through that. When Ricky was 16 his parents decided to get a divorce and shortly after his mom died in a car crash. He acted like he was fine, but on the inside, he was dying. That lead to him getting depression and staring to self-harm. If Nini wouldn't have noticed one day while they were watching a movie, he might have taken his own life. The last thing he wanted was for Nini to go through that as well. "Neens you know that I'm just worried about you" The curly haired man said while putting his hand on her arm.

She sighed "I know, but you're taking it too far." He kissed her forehead "If you think that you'll be safe when I leave, I'll go, but if you don't you have to promise me to talk to me. Deal?" The brunette nodded her head "Deal." "I love you" Ricky said while walking out of the room. She smiled "I love you too."

Then he walked out of the room, which was the thing he will forever regret in his life.

-

It has been half a year since Nini's grandma died and for everyone around her she acts happy and seems fine, but she's far from that. She even convinced Ricky that she was fine, that was probably the hardest task but after two months she did it. That is how she found herself alone in their apartment on a Wednesday morning.

Recently the brunette had started feeling even worse than usual, which ultimately lead to her self-harming. She was not stupid, so she knew how to hide the cuts from her boyfriend, especially since she was the one who always found his. Her newest idea was to start wearing a specific bracelet. Obviously, the curly haired boy noticed that and thought she had cut herself, so he checked. But Nini was smart enough to start wearing the bracelet before she cut in that place. That's how it always was.

She would start to always wear a specific kind of jewelry, Ricky would be worried, but he could never find anything. After a month he stopped noticing all together. Except the one time where she decided to wear a hoodie for a whole week, just to see if he would notice, he did. When he asked, she just said she was cold and a day later she stopped wearing hoodies for longer than a day at a time.

Tonight, she had decided to walk around New York to make a plan in case she feels even worse. Nini is trying to hold on for Ricky's sake, but it was hard for her. Every time Ricky thought something seemed off, he reassured her that she can always talk to him about everything, but she couldn't. The brunette knew that he was struggling himself and didn't want her problems to be put on him.

After walking around for a few hours, she found a building that was high, but not to high that people would be concerned of anyone killing themselves by jumping form the roof. It was also pretty easy to get to the roof and nothing was on it.

As soon as she opened the door to her apartment she was engulfed in a tight hug. "I was worried about you, are you ok?" She nodded her head "I just went on a walk and got us Dinner." Nini held up a bag of take out. He kissed her forehead and said, "I'm glad."

-

"Nini, I'm home." Ricky yelled through the small apartment as soon as he entered through the front door. He got no answer though. "Neens?" "Nini!" After looking through every room he was officially worried.

His girlfriend was nowhere to be seen and she also didn't leave a note or anything similar. Suddenly his phone started ringing. He quickly picked up and realized that it was Nini. "Thank god Neens, I was so worried." Ricky said almost relived until he heard her sobs. "What's wrong? Where are you, I'll come get you."

"Ricky I'm sorry. I love you so much, never forget that" was all she said before hanging up.

As soon as she did, he grabbed his keys and ran out the door. He had a feeling on what she was planning on doing and he could not let that happen, he couldn't lose her. The thing was that he had no idea where she was and that he didn't have much time. After a few minutes he suddenly remembered a friend of him telling him that he saw Nini climbing onto a roof close to his house. That was the only place he could think of so he went there as fast as he possibly could. The curly haired man reached the roof totally out of breath.

He looked around and at first, he didn't see anything. Until his eyes fell onto a small person standing at the edge. "Nini." The person turned around and he couldn't recognize the person he saw. It was Nini, but not his Nini. This one had red, puffy eyes, bags under eyes and cuts all over her neck.

In that moment he knew exactly why she was here, and he just couldn't let it happen. "Come here please. We can get you the help you need, just please get away from the edge." The brunette shook her head and just took a step towards the edge.

"Remember when I was in your place and you told me that you'll do everything you can do help me. I would do the same. I was going to do the same thing you did, but I didn't because you convinced me that my life was worth living. I got better, you can too. Nini just please come here, we'll figure everything else out. I promise you that everything will get better if you just come here."

She again just shook her head and took another step towards the edge. This time Ricky took a step towards her as well and tried to reach out for her. "Don't, you can't help me anymore. You didn't even notice that I started hurting myself. How are you supposed to help me now?" He sighed "I did notice, but I thought you were fine, so I didn't question it further. I'm sorry for not noticing because you're right I should have, but I can't change the past. I can change the future though, so please Neens come here."

„I love you" Nini said while taking the final step to the edge. "Nini, please stop. I can't live without you. I love you so much, please don't jump."

She faced away from him "Remember when you told me that sometimes not even the strongest people make it out alive. You were right."

———
I cried like thrice while writing this. Do y'all think she did jump or did Ricky convince her?