In L.O.V.E with my brother✓

21

JUNGKOOK'S POV

I completely acted crazy yesterday. I didn't know what happened, I just got too scared. I was supposed to protect hyung and take care of him. I never thought in my whole life that I would ever hurt hyung. But now I already did and I can't forgive myself for that.

Like always I got up earlier than hyung and started making lunch for him and breakfast for us. I always prepare lunch before hyung wakes up and put it in the fridge. He only knows that I prepare breakfast sometimes.

" Jungkook?" I heard hyung's voice when I was secretly preparing his lunch. He usually doesn't wake up this early.

" Hmm hyung?" I nervously responded. I just hope he doesn't realize. He will be really heart broken if he knows mom never made lunch or dinner for him. It was always me.

" What are cooking at this hour? There is still three hours left for school." Hyung said confusedly taking a glass to drink water. I guess he woke up because he was thirsty.

" B-breakfast." I replied nervously hoping that he would believe that.

" You don't prepare breakfast untill 7 it's only 5. Btw why are cooking jajjangmyun?" Hyung kept asking me questions. I didn't know what to say.

" Omg. Is this what I think it is?" Hyung asked when he realized that I was the one cooking for him all these times.

" I thought so. Why would mom care about me all of a sudden?" He laughed to himself.

" No hyung tha-" before I could finish he cut me off.

" I was also wondering how mom became so good at cooking all of a sudden when she never cooks." Hyung said sadly.

" Hyung plz let me expla-" hyung hugged me before I could explain.

" H-hyung?" I asked softly. He never hugged me like this.

" Thank you for caring about me." Hyung wispered quitely.

" Don't thank me for that. Obviously I care about you. I am sorry for keeping it a secret." I apologized for not telling him before and giving him hope.

I didn't tell it on purpose because I knew he wouldn't eat the food I made. But when we made up I didn't know how to tell him about it. I thought he would get mad at me. So I avoided it.

" it's ok. I love the food you make. It's really delicious." Hyung replied breaking the hug.

" Thank you hyung." I pulled him towards me by his waist and pecked his forehead lightly. I smiled when I saw him blushing.

" W-what are you doing?" Hyung pushed me off gently and went back to his room.

TAEHYUNG'S POV

Mom and dad are never home. They are always busy. So I always thought mom cooked before going to work.

I never thought jungkook would do something like that for me. If I am not wrong he started cooking when he was 12 and I was 14. I never even imagined that it was him. The meals started getting bigger and he made more hard dishes as time passed by. When I first started getting food in the fridge for me, it was just something normal and simple. But now he makes my favourite most of the time. And I always have a big meal.

I feel horrible after what I did to him. He was upset when I made him do things by blackmailing about liking me. Even though I did so many things to him, he never stopped caring for me and preparing meals for me.

How can I be so blind? He loves me so much but I never appreciated him for taking care of me and protecting me.

If I really say honestly, I do have feelings for him. I have denied it for too long. I know what I felt for him was different. I always get butterflies and my heartbeat gets faster whenever he's around. I feel safe and protected when he's beside me. Whenever he's not here I always feel lonely.

But I didn't realize it untill now. He loved me and took care of me secretly not because he had to or was forced to but because he really cares about me. Jimin was right. He isn't my real brother so having feelings for him is nothing wrong.
I can't live forever by denying my feelings. It'll only hurt both of us.

AT NIGHT

" Jungkook?" I called his name gently while knocking on his door.

" Oh hyung. Come in." Jungkook quickly opened the door when he heard my voice.

" Do you need anything?" Jungkook asked when I sat down on his bed.

" Um- I wanted to talk to you about something." I said nervously.

" Yeah go ahead. I am listening." He said sitting down beside me.

" Jungkook don't lie okay?" He nodded.

" What happened yesterday? I know something happened. Don't lie to me." He got a bit tensed up when I asked him about last night.

" Hey look. You can tell me. I won't say anything." I patted his back gently so he would tell.

" O-okay. I kinda saw you kissing hobi hyung last night." I was shocked at the answer.

" What? I didn't even kiss him. It was on his cheeks only." I said what actually happened.

" I know but hobi hyung, he likes you." He said pouting like a sad puppy.

" I know that too. He confessed me last night." I replied.

" So are you two together?" He asked me sadly.

" What!? No. I see him as a brother only. I never thought of being with him."

" I-i thought you two were together. That's why I kinda got scared." Jungkook said slightly stuttering.

" Why?" I asked curiously.

" I-i thought you will leave me. You know when you grow up. You'll live with hobi hyung. And I'll be all alone. I got scared at the thought of that." Jungkook explained with tears in his eyes. I kept silent.

" i-i can't live without you hyung. Plz don't leave me. W-when I saw you with him, I got angry and acted before thinking. I-i am so sorry for hurting you." Jungkook had tears streaming down his face. I gently patted his hair.

" Why did you hurt yourself like that? I know hurting me is not the only cause."

" T-the voices won't stop." He whimpered. I never saw him this scared. His eyes were only showing fear.

" What voices?"

" T-they won't stop." He started panicking started hitting his head.

" What?" I asked confusedly.

" I-it's happening again. It's not stopping." Jungkook was now sobbing.

" Hey look at me." I grabbed his cheeks and made him look at me with his big teary eyes.

" There is no voice."

" T-there is! You're going to leave me just like them! I know! don't lie! They told me I am a burden! I know you think that too! I know you'll never love me!!" Jungkook started shouting and crying. I got scared.

It must because of his trauma. He's afraid to be abandoned again.

I didn't know what to do. I grabbed his nape and crashed my lips on his. He stopped moving and hurting himself.

When I saw him frozen i deepened the kiss and slipped my tongue inside his mouth. He eventually took control and started kissing me like there was no tomorrow.

His rough kiss slowly turned into a soft one. I could taste the saltiness of his tears. There wasn't lust or anger. It was a passionate and euphoric kiss.

(Words: 1305)

A/N: I suck at writing. Why am I even doing this?

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Borahae 💜