Ask what High School is like and you'll get mixed answers along the lines of Scandals, Cliche Teen Romance, Break ups, Drama, Friendship, and most importantly Betrayal that's handed out like gift bags.
Ask the popular kids and they'll usually say it...
I caught up to him as he was waiting beside our bike and wagon combo. His hands were on his knees and he was breathing heavily.
" Hey, what's wrong ?" I said putting my hand softly on his back.
"P-panic attack.." he said through scattered breathing.
I grabbed his hands leading him under the shaded awning and slowly sat both of us on the warm cement. " That's step one, realizing you're having a panic attack. You have to catch your breathing though." I said calmly.
" I can't ! I just-
" Close your eyes with me and breathe in."
As I demonstrated, he followed with me pulling all the air he could puffing his chest up.
I waited a few seconds looking at his face. He was a bright shade of red which the stream of tears made glossy on his cheeks.
He had his eyes tightly closed from the pain he was enduring.
" Now out." We both exhaled and then repeated the process.
I grabbed his hand this time and he opened his eyes. I felt some resistance as he tried to pull his hand away but he soon relaxed it, stared into my eyes, then closed his again repeating the breathing process.
After another three minutes of doing that he finally was able to catch his breath and calm down.
" Hassan I-
" Hey we don't have to talk about that right now, not that I don't want to, but if anytime is too soon I believe coming fresh out of a panic attack is wayyyy too soon." I said smiling.
" It's just...When I seen her so many feelings hit me at once you know ? So much sadness, so much anger, so much confusion. Do you think she's here to save me ?" He asked, wiping away the last remnants of tears that clung to his face.
I shrugged my shoulders. " I'm not sure, but maybe you can ask her ?" I said handing him the paper she gave me with her number on it.
" If you need, I'll be there for you for whatever your decision is !"
He smirked, this time it looked like his tears were going to come back but he shook his head and picked himself up off the floor dusting himself off.
" Do you want to go back and get the cookies ?" He said through a half laugh.
" Tuh, and risk dealing with that again ? I think ordering pizza will suffice ! They're only going to be in school for a couple more hours anyway."
><•><
" Hey we have popsicles here ! I didn't even know ! U want- hey you okay ?"
Tanner laid fully stretched on the couch just staring at the ceiling.
It's like I was in his house and he didn't even notice I was there.
" Earth to Tanner, you alright ?" I asked again.
" Why are we here ?" He responded.
" Cause we're having a hangout session-
"No I mean, why are we, humans here ? What's the point of all this ? Life is so hard...it's like no matter how hard you try sometimes things just end up worse and for other people they have a good life all the way through. It's just not fair."
I sat down on the same couch, he let me pick up his legs then put them on my lap so he could continue laying out and I could have the cushions support. " I don't know man. It's just life, none of us asked to be here we just simply are you know ? Everyone has their own path, and everyone has their own obstacles. Regardless we're all born to die, none of us live forever, and moving here taught me sometimes life is uncontrollable and things don't always pan out how you envision. So sometimes, it's just better to go with the flow and remain positive. Beautiful things could happen."
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He took a deep breathe in and pinched the bridge of his nose then sighed.
" Yeah I know the feeling man...popsicle ?" I offered again, holding the frozen blue treat to him.
He took it without saying anything and began nibbling it.
" Life is strange." He said with the popsicle in his mouth.
" Tell me about it, just a couple days ago you put me in a coma, now you're in my house on my couch sharing frozen flavored ice with me." I said licking mine almost half way done.
He stayed silent licking the popsicle.
" Still to soon ?" I laughed.
He started chuckling which lead to full on laughter which made me laugh even harder to before we both slowly stopped, smiles still plastered on our faces.
Life really is strange. So much more to it then meets the eye but so limited in what we can understand.
Go with the flow
Something I have little practice in but ever since I tried, good things have happened. Laurence, Charolette, Bryan, and Tanner. They're my good things...
I looked over at Tanner and he was done with his popsicle, the stick hanging out his mouth as he was sound asleep.
All that crying and extra emotions today, I don't blame him, a stress nap was needed for the big guy.
I checked my phone.
Three hours and the crew will be here, that gives me enough time for an hour nap too. Plus I'm kinda trapped under his legs so I don't want to wake him up and move him anyway.
