My Idol, My Muse | Jendragon

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June, 2018

~ Ji Yong ~

--- Hey! Watch for me for a moment I need to go to th bathroom --- I tell my partner. It has been five months since I have been in the military unit, it has been the longest time of my life and the worst thing is that I still have many more to be free again. I go into the bathroom and lock myself in one of the cubicles, take out the cell phone, connect the headphones and wait ... Minutes later I see her again, she is beautiful, much more since the last time, her confidence when singing has been getting over every day, the song is great, Teddy did a great job.

I play the video at least three times before leaving, I keep the image of her in my mind. I hope that she ppears in my dreams one of these nights and makes me forget for a moment my confinement here. I look at the cell phone screen once more ... Should I call her? ... No, better not. I turn off the phone and go back to the routine again, it was good to see her one more time ...

~ Jennie ~

--- How tired !! --- I say as I flop in my bed after a day with a totally full schedule. My ankle started to hurt again since the group activities were resumed, the long practices in the company rehearsal room have not helped anything to improve, I never had the opportunity to get enough rest and now the injury has became incurable and appears every time I make efforts. TV show promotions start next week, I'm worried my performance will be affected by this.

--- Unnie, Jennie-unnie, UNNIE !! --- I raise my head to see Rosé in frontof me --- Unnie come on, we go out now, are you okay? ---
--- I ... I'm not sure --- Since we got to the dressing rooms and I sat in front of the mirror, I could only think of the pain in my leg, the fatigue that I have recently suffered, the patches that I wear under the clothes. Thinking all that, at some point my hands started to sweat and my mind was lost until now. We went out on the studio stage and performed.

Back in the dressing rooms I stop and lean against the corridor wall, for a moment everything spins me. The girls go ahead and don't realize that I'm lagging behind --- Jisoo… hey… wait for me… --- my voice is just a sigh in the air, I feel like I lose my balance for a moment until someone approaches, it's a boy, At first I see it blurry but later I identify it, it is him again, it is the second time that I live this, it is a strange coincidence.

--- Hey, are you okay? You are pale and cold. Hey !! Don't you see that she is feeling bad? !! --- I feel like he is yelling at the staff. His hand grabs my forearm and carries the weight of my body that has almost no strength. --- You can release it --- Says the voice of my manager. --- Okay, you should be more careful she almost collapsed in the hall --- That's all he says before leaving. Again I do not have the opportunity to thank him.

Some time later we return to the stage for the end of the program, the discomfort has already passed. I turn my head looking for him, I know he's here too, the moment I see him he turns, I can't help but look into his eyes as he stares at me, my hands start to sweat again and my heart races but this time It's not fatigue ... it's because of him, it's the effect he causes on me, no one else had done it except Ji Yong-oppa, it's something different but intense, it's ... Kai's gaze.

• Author's note: The video that Ji Yong saw was Ddu du Ddu released in June 2018 •