xii. listen before i go

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" Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek

That's what a year-long headache does to you

I'm not okay, I feel so scattered "


(tw: talk of self-harm and suicidal thoughts)

(tw: talk of self-harm and suicidal thoughts)

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--CHAPTER TWELVE--

December 6, 1977

Tuesday 

At Hogwarts, days turned into weeks, and the students were now entering their second to last week of school before the winter holidays. Since it was the final two weeks of term, that meant all their final projects and exams would be due soon. Students would either be in their common rooms or the library trying to cram in as much work as possible, which meant for Arabella Goldstein, endless days of helping students study and finish said projects.

Throughout the last month or so, Arabella hadn't been feeling like herself, and people took notice. She was withdrawn; rarely left her bedroom unless it was a school day. Multiple people had tried and talked to her to see what was wrong, but she just dismissed them and said she was okay. But she was far from it.

Arabella was angry. At what? She didn't know. It was unexplainable, like a switch flipped her brain. She felt such rage for the world, and it made her feel more helpless than usual. The anger made her think wicked thoughts, genuinely horrific things. She thought of hurting others, but mostly she felt like hurting herself. Arabella had only ever felt like this once before, and that was when she was on the Horcrux hunt. Everyone is sensitive to that much dark magic, but Arabella more than others. Her rage now felt as though she was constantly wearing the locket of Slytherin.

Arabella had tried to look in magical books in the library for an explanation but came up empty. She kept replaying scenes of the hunt in her mind hoping that it would remind her of information that she was missing but was disappointed again.

It was Tuesday morning, and she was lying in her bed staring up at the ceiling. Arabella wanted to cry; she wanted to laugh and smile. She just wanted to feel something other than anger and sadness. She was tired. Arabella took the journal off her nightstand and began flipping through it. It had every bit of information about her past life and daily journal entries of her new one. She got to the page that recalled the day she went to Merlin to ask about Marie Dubois. Information about elementals and earth magic written all over the page, with little side notes of things she had found herself on the topic.

She went on and read the pages carefully, and just as she was about to close the journal, she read the most crucial piece of information ever.

Elementals must let go of their magic, dark or light, back into the earth during celestial events.

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