On Top [H.S.]

Chapter 26

*TW: Panic attack*

Harry's POV

I can't breathe.

I can't fucking breathe. Every breath I take just causes a sharp pain to shoot through my fucking chest, which makes me just continue to take short breaths and fuck up my breathing even more.

Everything hurts and I don't know how to stop it. I've been a fucking wreck all day. I honestly almost fucking forgot what day it was until Lia brought up the subject of birthday's yesterday.

I can't believe I almost fucking forgot Zayn's birthday. Also known as the day I simultaneously ruined his life, mine, and Niall's.

What a great fucking person I am.

After Lia left last night, thoughts about Zayn wouldn't leave my mind. I had the most restless fucking sleep and immediately found myself going to the gym this morning, wanting to find some way to silence the thoughts racing through my head.

A more healthy way.

I debated on just fucking spending the day in bed. I was going to text Lia and tell her I wasn't feeling good and wanted to be alone, and then just drink and sleep away my fucking problems. But I knew that wouldn't help, even if I was just aching to do it.

It didn't help that while I was at the gym, Anna approached me. I still had a hard time understanding what she had to do with anything related to the ring, and even though I didn't care, I still questioned it.

Even though it made my fucking brain hurt.

As soon as she had spotted me she wasted no time in approaching me, taunting me with statements about Zayn. "You know Harry, you shouldn't let people into your life, they're only going to end up like Zayn." She had sneered.

I just ignored her and started to walk away before she said something that caught my attention. "Maybe Ophelia will be your next victim. She can be the first female you off."

That made me halt in my tracks. How the fuck does she know about Ophelia? And her name? And why is she keeping up with my life anyways?

Fucking bitch left me in a puddle of my own tears without a fucking care in the world and suddenly now she's interested in who I keep around in my life? Fuck that.

I quickly turned around to question her, only to realize that she was fucking gone.

Cunt.

That whole situation only pissed me off more. Anna knew that today was Zayn's birthday considering I had just started dating her right after it all happened. She picked me up from off the ground, she had made me into someone. Or so I thought.

She ruined me.

She was there when I had nightmares, she was there when I cried throughout the night, she was there when I'd get my panic attacks. Anna was there through it all.

I took any love (or what I thought was love) and affection I could get from her, because she knew what I had done and she had stayed. I didn't think that anyone would stay once they had found out what I'd done.

I thought I was lucky finding her.

That made it hurt even more, hearing those vile words leave her mouth. She knew what she was doing by saying that shit to me. Her words really fucking triggered something in me and it made me full on fucking spiral.

Just what I fucking wanted.

Of course Anna fled as soon as she spit those vicious words, she was too much of a weak bitch to take whatever I would have thrown back at her. She only went there to taunt me, but it beats me how she knew I would fucking be there though.