On Top [H.S.]

Chapter 12

Ophelia's POV

Harry asked me where I live.

He texted me asking for my address, so I gave it to him and he hasn't responded back.

That was 30 minutes ago.

It was only yesterday that I swiftly left his place after he tested the boundaries in our 'relationship'. I couldn't help but to wonder if offering breakfast to his partners was a normal thing for him to do, or maybe he made the offer thinking it's something that I would want.

Either way, it was definitely crossing some type of boundary.

I'm so fucking thankful Jenna's parents left early yesterday, I could tell Elvis had just about had enough of my shit.

Jenna couldn't handle anymore of their lectures when it came to Niall and safe sex. She told me that Niall never got rid of the redness in his cheeks throughout their whole stay, so she made sure to kick them out as quickly as she could.

Can't say I blame her.

As soon as she texted me that she was free, I was out the door reaching her place in record time. I spilled everything to her about what happened, not leaving a single thing out.

"You two sound like a couple." She had told me, "Niall and I haven't even showered together yet."

Yeah...that's what I was afraid of.

She could tell that I was beginning to panic as I let her words settle in. This is exactly what I was fucking afraid of. It didn't matter that I had made the surprisingly smart decision to skip breakfast, everything else that had happened beforehand automatically canceled that out.

"Jenna I don't know what to do." I whined, internally freaking the fuck out.

I couldn't go through something like this again, some kind of one-sided relationship where I crash and burn and he goes on perfectly fine, not even batting a fucking eye.

"End it." She told me. "I'm being honest with you Ophelia, if you're too scared that this is going to be just like Denver, end it now. Save yourself the anguish and the tears."

She said my full name, she means business.

Her words have been on repeat in my mind since yesterday.

I don't know what to do. Realistically, I knew that I should end this because we were clearly crossing some boundaries already and I was beginning to feel things that I definitely should not fucking feel for him.

But I also knew that Harry needed this arrangement. He clearly has some issues involving an ex-girlfriend and he needed this as an escape from that. I would feel bad if I took this escape away from him, especially when I could put myself in his shoes.

I scoff at myself as this thought runs through my head, I shouldn't even be thinking about what he wants, I should only be thinking about what's best for me.

I'm selfless to a fault.

It's not like he couldn't find someone else to escape with, I'm almost positive he'd have no problem finding a replacement. I just don't like the queasiness in my stomach that appears when I think about him doing this with someone else.

I think that the next time I see him, I'll just tell him that we have to impose some new rules or else I won't be able to continue this. Rules that will ensure that boundaries stay uncrossed and feelings stay at bay.

Maybe implementing these new boundaries will stabilize or even rid of these things I'm beginning to feel. It's frustrating because I don't even know what the fuck these things are that I'm feeling, just that I'm feeling them.