sucked in || aot x black reader

//Training Years 1// pt 3

You ruffled your stretched out hair and shook ya dandruff onto the floor a bit as you shook your head. Your head felt so light from all the weight removed from it. The hair you removed was neatly put together, folded, and shoved into your second satchel so you could do another protective style if needed. You refused to stay bald head AND have damaged hair in this musty ass universe.

Moving on, you were glad there was no one to witness your stinky, nasty, nappy head. Cause ya shit was dry and ugly tbh... You only fucks with moisturized naps. You used your cottage-core rock to re-mix your hair mask before walking into the showers to wash your body and hair.

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You finished your whole routine and were dead FUCKING TIRED. That shit was ten times more tedious without the proper tools or proper conditioner. You left out of the showers and walked into the 'community bedroom' as you liked to call it, only to see someone was there. You sucked in a breath and immediately felt ashamed and embarrassed. You hated that this was your first knee-jerk reaction but you were just a black teenage girl. You immediately felt ugly and the anti-black self hate started to claw at your mind. Your insecurities about your hair were going to eat you alive and if this person was like any of the other girls you've been forced to live with, they'd take advantage of that. You immediately looked down while backing up to re-enter the showers, hoping the person didn't notice you.

Mikasa, the person who was in the room, on the other hand, was mesmerized by you. She usually only cared for Eren's looks and all but you were...stunning. As she eyed your timid figure backing away, she looked at the outline of your wet body in your towel before leading her eyes to inspect how pretty your skin looked wet. Forget your body, her gaze landed on your adorably embarrassed face. With the angle you had your head tilted down at, she could almost count every beautiful curled eyelash you had. She noticed a trail of water was running down your neck and onto your collarbone; it glistened in the stray sunlight from the windows when you trembled. What really was striking was that you didn't have your long twisty hair hanging down to your hips anymore. Your hair was soaked, some thick, wavy strands clinging to your face due to the water, but more importantly, you had tons of shiny curls that stood out to her. They almost bounced as you shook from embarrassment.

"Y/-"

You immediately backed up into the showers and hid behind the wall, pressing yourself against it in a desperate attempt to meld with it and disappear. 'Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking cry...I'm so ugly already and everyone already hates me for looking so different. I bet they're gonna tell the others Ima bald ugly bitch..' As funny as you were trying to be with your fake insult it really just made you feel a pang of hurt in your heart. You thought you were confident enough to get by but being surprised like that made your feelings twirl around like a tornado. Vision blurring and heart thumping wildly in your chest, you were just about to drop to your knees and sob before feeling a soft but calloused hand firmly grip your shoulder.

Looking up with your teary eyes you saw a fair skinned person with black hair. They reached their hand out to cup your cheek, with you flinching ever so slightly at the gesture, before using their thumb to gently wipe your tears from your eye. You reached up to rub the tears away from your other eye before focusing your vision to see...

"M-Mikasa..?" Her name left your lips in a quiet, broken tone. She was the one to see you in your worst state? And she...actually cared it looked like.

"What's wrong Y/n?" She asked and you could tell she tried to soften her tone but she sounded the same as always. The effort is what mattered. Which is why as soon as she asked what was wrong, your lips quivered and tears poured from your eyes like a waterfall. You choked out a sob and reached out to hug Mikasa and cry into her chest. Normally this would never happen but she was showing compassion and in your fragile state, that was an invitation for a cry session, even if you were in a small uncomfortable towel that was one accident away from exposing your naked body.

However, Mikasa rested a hand on the small of your back, rubbing it gently and perched her other hand on the back of your wet head, holding you close to her chest. Personally, she had no idea where her comforting actions came from but seeing you cry and cling to her like she was the only one who could make your pain go away, made her feel like what was happening was right.

After a few minutes of you crying, you regressed into small sniffles and pulled yourself away from her slowly..That is, when she loosened her grip. It's like she caged you onto her as if letting you go would kill you. You chalked it up to her being stiff and not understanding how to help other's with their emotions. You didn't mean to spill your snot and tears on her.

"I-I'm sorry...for uhm..pushing myself onto you like that.." you meekly apologized to her. But to your surprise you felt her grab onto your hand and interlock your fingers before dragging you back to the sleeping area. She sat you on your bed and sat next to you before looking you straight in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked. It almost sounded like she demanded an answer. Little did you know, she was. If someone made you break down like that, she'd gladly teach them a lesson. You were good to Eren and Armin so she felt like she definitely had to do right by you and protect you...at least that's the reason she was giving herself.

With a sniffle, you awkwardly bit your thumb nail before choosing to speak. "I don't wanna..unload my emotions on you, Mikasa. But if you're really curious, I kinda..." You took a deep breath to try and stop your voice from trembling. It's weird admitting your true feelings out loud. Suddenly, you felt Mikasa grab both of your hands gently and she started rubbing circles on your knuckles as if to say, 'Take your time.'

You smiled weakly and continued, "I kind of freaked out when I s-saw you. I didn't know who you were so I thought you were one of the mean people who m-make fun of me for looking so different....I thought you were gonna see my hair and make fun of the way it is.." you explained with a few voice cracks interrupting. You almost wanted to laugh at how weak you sounded, admitting you were somewhat a victim of bullying and racism without directly saying it.

Suddenly you noticed Mikasa had stopped rubbing circles into your hands and her grip was getting tighter. This entire time you were avoiding her eyes but you peeked up from your wet hair and saw her face look incredibly angry before she made eye contact with you and her grip relaxed and her face did as well. She dropped your hands and pulled you into a tight embrace while holding your head into the crook of her neck, not caring about how wet you were.

"..I'm...not the best with these things. But I know how you feel Y/n. It's not fair that people can pick us apart and make fun of us for looking and being different. I know we have different experiences but I find it disgusting all the same. It's even worse that we have to put up with it no matter where we go...But you should never...ever, let what they say about you make you afraid to be yourself." She took a finger and played with one of your curls, a small smile gracing her face. "I think you're beautiful Y/n. Your differences make you unique and memorable... Was it your hair you were embarrassed of? I think it's lovely."

You sat there in shock. This is the most you've heard Mikasa speak to anyone that wasn't Eren. When the silence settled and you processed her words, you finally hugged her back and held onto her tightly. You thought she couldn't give less of a damn about you and your problems but you guess it struck a chord in her to see someone face the same bigotry she'd constantly faced once before and even almost got trafficked for.

"Oh Mikasa..." your voice cracked after not being ready to reply to such touching words. "Thank you...Your words mean a lot to me....But...I wish I was around to offer you the same comfort when you experienced what I'm going through."

"Well, you're here now aren't you Y/n?"

You nodded into her shoulder with a hum of agreement.

"Yeah...I'm here, Mikasa."

"I'm here too."