The Lawyer

21-Stupid hormones

Sophie POV

When I wake up it's dark outside. My first thought is that the baby is pressing on my bladder again, but then I feel the solid chest against my back, the gentle rise and fall of his breathing, that familiar cologne, and it snaps back to me.

Oh my god what did I do! I can't believe after everything, I jump into bed with him so quickly! Stupid pregnancy hormones.

I try to climb out of the bed but his arm is wrapped over me, his hand gently resting on my little bump. A sense of warmth washes over me at the idea of him protecting the baby. Our baby.

Does that mean Lili was right? Was Mia lying and he does care? I place my hand over his carefully, I don't want to wake him. Could we actually be a family? My heart flutters at the thought, but there is so much wrong. I can't just forget what he did to Mr Thornton and who knows how many others, just because I would be safe.

I can't handle that conversation right now, not with my hormones betraying me, I want to stay here. Lay in silence, enjoying the warmth of his body against me. The security of his muscular arms around me, but I have missed my dose of antiemetics and I can already feel the nausea creeping up. I need to get to the bathroom now! Lifting his arm at the wrist I try to free myself.

I feel Matt start stirring beside me
“Sophie? No, wait” he says quickly, realising my intention to leave.
  “Matt please, I have to go” I say, placing a hand over my mouth. I can already feel the acid burning the back of my throat.

“No. Ive been searching for too long. I'm not letting you run again” he argues desperately, holding my wrist firmly enough to keep me here, but not enough to hurt me. Then I do the most embarrassing thing I could ever do in front of a naked sort-of ex.

I vomit.... A lot.

It's Like that scene from the exorcist, it's everywhere! All over the bed, down my body, In my hair. My eyes are streaming.
“Shit!” I hear Matt shout finally releasing me. He tries to hold my hair back but I swat him away. I hate being touched when i'm sick.

When there is nothing left I keep retching for a while longer. The smell is revolting and sharp, to my overly sensitive nose. Matt seems to have gone, I'm not sure when he left, but I guess he had got what he wanted now. One last fuck. I can't really blame him right now, I must look disgusting.

I sink to my knees gasping for breath, my eyes closed tight. They are still streaming but now there are real tears combined with the ones from the strain of vomiting.

I cant believe I have been so stupid. I feel movement beside me, guessing Lili is back. I try to pull my dressing gown from where I know it is on a nearby chair, in a vain attempt to cover my still naked body.

“You should probably clean up before putting that on” I hear Matt suggest. My eyes spring  open in surprise, to find him kneeling beside me in just his boxers, he holds out a glass of water to me. I take it sipping gratefully, the cool water easing the burn in my throat.

“Sorry I took a few minutes, I didn't know how to work your shower and then I didn't know where you kept the glasses. Come on, the shower should be warm now.” He says supporting me to stand gently by the elbows. As he steadies me I see traces of vomit on his arm and chest.

“Matt. I’m so sorry” I start to sob in earnest. Why does being sick make people so apologetic? He follows my eyeline to the streaks crossing his skin.
“It’ll wash off." He shrugs lacing his fingers between my own leading me into the bathroom.

"Not gonna lie though, that was super gross. something you ate?” he asks, grabbing a wash cloth to wipe his chest.
“No, the baby.” He nods in understanding, as if he could possibly understand and leaves me to step under the stream of water.

The warm water sooths me, massaging my muscles. I feel like I do the day after a new workout with my muscles all tight. I would question if it is from the vomiting, the sex or from stress, but the delicious ache between my thighs is already giving me the answer.

I rest my head against the cool tile when another wave of nausea passes over me, breathing deeply. Stupid pregnancy side effects, if I'm not vomiting, I'm crying or feeling like a wolf in heat. Which explains my stupid reaction to seeing Matt, I literally threw myself at the guy.

Stepping out of the shower I wrap myself in a towel, returning to my room to dress. I find Matt there dressed and waiting, the soiled bedding has been stripped away, the smell of vomit replaced by disinfectant lingering in the air. I'm surprised he even knows how to do that, didn't he have a housekeeper back home for that stuff? But it is sweet that he thought to clean up.

"Where is Lili?" I ask suddenly aware of her absence.
"She's staying at a hotel so we can have space… To talk, are you feeling better?" He asks, reaching out to touch my face. I give an involuntary flinch away from his touch, he lowers his hand looking hurt.
"Soph…" He says softly.

  "Can you leave?" I hear a sharp intake of breath, "so I can change?" I mumble, avoiding eye contact.
“Really? You think there is something you have that I haven't seen?” He huff's clearly annoyed by my hormonal hot and cold attitude, but he goes down stairs anyway.

I dry off, blowing out my hair. It's only seven, I can't believe I slept half the day, I'll never sleep tonight now. Slipping into my favourite baggy green sweater and leggings, (a god send for an ever expanding belly) I scoop my hair into a messy bun, taking my time.

Because I know when I go downstairs I have to confront someone that killed a man in cold blood.

Where do you even start with that?