Where the Wind Blows

Kabanata 35

Kabanata 35

Coming back to the place where it all began felt different to me now. This place used to be my refuge but it is tainted by a bad memory. Madali lang sanang burahin iyon at palitan ng bago pero ang masakit ay ang magpunta rito na kulang na ang mga taong nais kong sumalubong sa pagbabalik ko.

What a thick-face I have!

I don't even know if I am even welcome to step my feet in this land once again. A series of scenarios flooded my head. My heart couldn't stop beating fast as we are getting nearer and nearer to that same manor I used to work at before.

I looked at the window and I see that same familiar route. I bit my lower lip to ease my nervousness even just for awhile but it isn't helping. I slowly closed my eyes to calm myself but guilt continue to consume me whole.

Kahit pa man sinabi ni Nathan na hindi ko kasalanan ang pagkamatay ni señor ay hindi ko magawang hindi sisihin ang sarili ko lalo pa't wala akong alam sa nangyari. He doesn't want to talk about it. He didn't tell it straight to my face but I can feel it. Kahit na mamatay na ako sa kuryosidad ay pinili ko na lamang na hindi na magtanong pa. Maybe it is still an open wound for him that he wouldn't want to uncover. Kahit naman ako ay guguho rin ang mundo kung iwan ni daddy. Sana ay naroroon ako noong panahong kailangan niya nang masasandalan. He helped me a lot during my stay here, yet I couldn't even do the same to him on his darkest days. Baka totoo nga talaga na ako ang may kasalanan.

No. He said that I am not. Sa kanya lang ako makikinig kahit wala akong alam sa nangyari noon.

I heaved a breath when the engine died. I can do this. If ever na hindi na ako welcome rito ay malugod ko iyong tatanggapin. I know that losing a loveone is difficult to accept especially if it means for forever.

I felt Nathan's rough hand on top of mine. Nilingon ko siya at nginitian naman niya ako as if assuring me that I have nothing to worry about.

Sana nga dahil mahalaga sa akin ang mga taong naririto.

A shrill voice calls my name as soon I entered the main door, together with their señorito. Hahanapin ko pa lang sana kung saan nanggaling iyon pero agad nang itinapon ni Precy ang kanyang sarili sa akin.

"Na-miss ka namin. Sayang at hindi man lang tayo nakapagpaalam sa isa't isa," aniya at pagkatapos ay kumalas na siya sa yakap at agad hinawakan ang manggas ng aking suot na white chiffon shirred dress. "Ang gara ah. Iba talaga kapag mayaman." And then she laughed.

"Precy tumigil ka nga riyan at nakakahiya," saway ni Betty na siyang sumunod pala kay Precy. Tulad ng dati ay kasama niya din si Fara na siyang nakatayo sa kanyang tabi.

"Bakit? Si Lia naman ito eh. Sa kanya ka pa ba mahihiya?"

"Pero nandyan naman si señorito Nathan." Fara rolled her eyes that made me chuckled. Mukhang sila pa rin ang trio na nakilala ko noon. Oh, how I miss this triplets.

Precy's eyes widened as she veers to the man beside me. "Señorito! Pasensya na hindi ko kayo napansin." She is indeed panicking that made me, Betty and Fara laughed more.

Tumawa din bahagya si Nathan bago niya ibinaling sa akin ang kanyang atensyon. "I'll going to leave you with your friends."

I nodded. He smiled at me and then he bent his head in order to give me a peck on my lips before he left. Nang makalayo na si Nathan ay sabay-sabay na nagtilian ang mga dati kong kasamahan lalong-lalo na si Precy.

"May pahalik pang nalalaman," komento ni Precy.

"It is just a smack. No big deal," I said even though my cheeks are red because of shame on what they've witnessed.