Crush on the Teacher

Panic Attacks

Crush on the Teacher

Chapter 8

Panic Attacks

Hannah

Sauli and Biance have texted me a bunch of times, making sure I was alive. I sigh and rub my eyes. It's almost 8:30. They'll be back soon. Curfew to be inside the hotel is 9:00. I'm the only that stayed behind today. Even Mr. Lambert went to have some fun and observe the other students. 

I pick up my cup and drink some water from it. My phone vibrates as I put the cup on the nightstand. 

Sauli. 

Sauli: Hey, you okay? :)

Me: Yes, I'm okay. :) Are you having fun?

Sauli: A blast. We still wish you were here.

Me: That makes me feel good. Well, I'll see ya in a bit. 

I toss my phone on the other side of the bed, thinking of when I got home and then the abuse and the lies and then the conference and then...

Well, I can't really think because my heart's speeding up, I'm crying and almost screaming because I can barely breathe. 

Minutes or possibly an hour later,  someone wraps their arms around me. A familiar voice whispered words of comfort. 

"I'll get Lambert," Hector takes a deep breath and runs out. 

"Hannah, it's okay," Biance sighs. 

"No, it's not," I cry. 

A few minutes later, I hear: "Hannah, what's wrong?" Mr. Lambert. I  can't talk, I could just gasp and cry. "Okay, hey, let's calm down and take some deep breaths, okay?", he softly replies to my gasping and crying. I try and breath in deeply. "Good job. More deep breaths, honey."

I take some more and eventually, I calm down enough to talk.Mr. Lambert smiles and hugs me. 

Soon, he pulls away and gently caresses my cheek. "Good job. Can you tell me what happened?" 

"I don't know," I say as I  look down. 

Everyone's gone, so we're alone. Just us. He  wraps his arms around me again. I snuggle into his chest. He just holds me. "It'll be okay. I promise."

After a while, he says, "I think you should get some sleep."

I nod and pull away from his grip on me and then crawl into bed. He followed and smiled at me until I fell asleep, caressing my head. 

***

I sit down and stare out of a window. We're on the plane.  I feel... empty. No, I'm not hungry, but I feel emotionless. As usual, people are teasing me, but I pay no attention to them. I'm kind of numb to everything that's happening around me and I remain that way the rest of the flight. Throughout the entire flight, I'm dead silent. 

Eventually, we reach California and it's time to get off. 

"Alright, you're free. I'll see you tomorrow. I want those essays too," Mr. Lambert says bluntly. Everyone runs off the plane. Sauli, Sara and Biance leave rather quickly with Hector as well because Mr. Lambert is coming. 

"Hi." 

"Hey," I whisper. 

"Um, it's time to leave." I look at him. He sighs and sat down. "Do you need to talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Mr. Lambert," I say, sounding harsh, something that wasn't intended. 

"I think there is."

"I'm fine. What's up?"

"Okay..." If you want, since we planned tonight to meet your father... Well, see, I have a meeting tonight. I'm so sorry. How about next week?"

"Okay." He smiles. 

"I'll see ya in class tomorrow."

"See ya," I say as he moved. I walk off the plane and to my car. 

When I get home, I see a moving truck and gasped. I jump out of the car with my bag and keys and run up to the house. Andrew picked up a box and acknowledges I exist when I demand an explanation, but scoffs, calls me a retard, and says we're moving. 

I cross my arms. "I'm seventeen. You can't make me go anywhere."

"According to the law, I can. Go get whatever you need from your room." I'm surprised he hasn't hit me yet. Usually, he's short tempered. Whenever I ask a question or don't jump to do his request, I'm hit. 

"No. This is where I draw the line!"

The next thing I knew, I was covering my cheek due to a pain on the side of my face. There it is. He did. It just took a couple of seconds. 

"Look, you ungrateful brat, you are under my roof, my rules and by law, I have control over you until you're 18 and you're 17. We are moving! Now go get your things," he growled. "And say goodbye to your friends too."

"I'd rather not bother with the goodbyes,"I sneer, crawling up the stairs. When he hits me, usually I have trouble walking in a straight line because it stuns me for a moment. 

"Then don't! Doesn't bother me in the slightest."

I'm able to walk once I manage to get up the stairs. I make my way to my bedroom and breaks down in tears while packing. I've lived here forever. I don't want to leave Mr. Lambert, my friends, my house, my city. I made friends here. I learned to drive and ride a bike here. I went to school here. I lived here for most of my life. I don't want to leave! 

He's pretty serious about this moving thing. So it doesn't matter what I think or want, not that it ever has, but this moving thing must be important to him. Not sure why, but I guess I'll have to deal with it. Like I've had to deal with every one of his crappy decisions.